Inuyasha meets Family Guy
by CoWz-In-GrAsS
Summary: Inuyasha and gang decide to poke a magical time rift with a stick and they end up in Family Guy! See Kagome and Meg's fight over Inuyasha, and Sesshomaru is on TV! CHAPTER 11 is up!
1. The Duck and the Portal

Inuyasha meets Family Guy 

It was just a normal day in the Feudal Era for Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo. They were planning on just relaxing, taking a break from hunting Naraku and kicking back. (Sign of the apocalypse, huh?)

"Hey, what's that over there?" Shippo asked, pointing to a large portal looking thing.

"What, I don't see anything?" said Inuyasha, hitting the fox demon on the head for disturbing his valuable relaxing time.

"Next to the ducky, don't you see it?" Shippo asked again.

"Oh, I see it, yeah, its one of them portal type things, they supposedly transport you to another dimension," Miroku said.

"Wanna go poke it with a stick?" asked Shippo.

"Sounds like fun," Kagome said. And they poked the rift with a tree branch.

They were sucked into a black hole and thrown out in front of a yellow house on Spooner Street.

"Where are we?" Sango asked.

"Oh my God, we're in Family Guy!" Kagome said, noticing the street sign and the evidence of flashbacks.

"What the heck is Family Guy?" Inuyasha asked.

"It's a show from my time," Kagome said, and explained all of the details of the charming show to her feudal friends (how corny do I get?).

'I wonder how many hot chicks live in this time,' Miroku thought. A group of cheerleaders walked by.

"Hey there ladies," Miroku said, taking in the size of there lower regions.

"Ew, he's dressed all feudal, that is _so_ last season," One of them said. Sango was hitting Miroku in the backround.

Meg Griffin walked out of her house.

"Oh my god its Inuyasha!" she said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Meg Griffin, I'm your biggest fan." (not so fast Meg, we all want a shot at Inuyasha, _points to line with thousands of people_,)

"What the heck!" Inuyasha says as Meg launches herself onto the poor half-demon.

"I love you, I love you, I love you!" Meg says glomping the struggling Inuyasha.

"You can have him," Kagome said. She turned around and began to make a soap doll of Meg. Meg got off Inuyasha as she saw Miroku, who was checking out her behind.

"Is that you Miroku?" Meg asks.

"Um, yes…… Ah please don't, Sango help me!" Miroku yelled, as Meg threw herself onto Miroku.

"You can have him as well," Sango said, mixing poison in with a bottle of coke with Meg's name on it.

Peter comes outside after hearing muffled cries. And the ice cream truck.

"What's going on out here, Oh my god its Inuyasha," Peter said, dropping his money and throwing himself on Inuyasha.

"Get off me fat man, ow, ow, ow, you're crushing me!" Inuyasha yelled. Lois came out and saw her husband on top of Inuyasha and her daughter on Miroku.

"Peter, what the heck are you doing to that anime character, and Meg that's the fifth time this month!" Lois yelled.

Flash back:

Vash from Trigun running away with kisses on his cheeks (on his face and his……….), Seto Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh running and pulling up his pants, Ban from Get Backers had his glasses askew, and Satoshi from D.N Angel had his shirt off.

"Wait, I'm not finished with you yet!" Meg called.

Flashback end.

"I'm so terribly sorry for what my husband and daughter might have done to you," Lois said later that night, as they all were eating dinner.

"What might you call this excellent dinner, Mrs. Griffin?" Miroku asked.

"It's beef casserole, have as much as you like," Lois replied, grateful that _someone _liked her cooking.

"Yeah, for something that came out of your…….." Inuyasha began.

"INUYASHA SIT!" Kagome yelled, causing Inuyasha to fall to the ground.

"Why you little……………!" Inuyasha began again.

"SIT!" Kagome shouted yet again.

"If I had your power, I wouldn't abuse poor Inuyasha with it," Meg said, obviously not understanding that Kagome hated her.

"Well, you don't have that power, and I'd like to see you wield arrows and a bow!" Kagome shouted at her.

Both girls stood up. Kagome slapped Meg across the face. Meg slapped Kagome.

"You provocatively dressed jap!" Meg yelled.

"You socially challenged American!" Kagome said.

"Please stop it!" said Lois.

"Yeah, quit it, and eat your badly tasting casserole," Inuyasha said.

"Oh Inuyasha, the casserole tastes fine!" Miroku said, he had taken most of Inuyasha's

While Inuyasha and Miroku fought about the casserole, Meg and Kagome fought over Inuyasha, Shippo and Stewie were talking.

"So…… You're a talking baby to," Stewie said.

"I'm not a baby! I'm fourteen! And I'm a fox demon, not a baby!" Shippo answered.

"What power do you possibly posses," Stewie asked, never being aloud to watch it.

"Fox fire!" Shippo said optimistically.

"Oh………..," Stewie said, not really interested. They continued their meal in silence.

It turned out that Shippo was sharing his room with Stewie. Inuyasha and Miroku were sharing with Chris. To their horror, Sango and Kagome had to share with Meg. What a fun night this is going to be!

So…………. What do y'all think? Please review.


	2. Insane Penguin with a Lightsaber

Inuyasha meets Family Guy: part two 

W00t I got reviews! I'm gonna answer them cause I got so many! Sorry it took so long to update, but I'm handing out cookies.

Princessstphanie: Thanks! I feel special! Here's a cookie.

Liquidmoon: Thank you! I'm gonna add much more Stewie. Here is a nice warm cookie

InuRouHakusho: I guess it is an ooc/AU thing. And since I get this many reviews, of coarse I'm gonna update as soon as I can! Here's a cookie.

TheFallOfAnAngel: Dave Chapelle rules! I'm glad you liked it! Enjoy the cookie!

Fozendude12: I hope you mean wack as in good! Cookie for you!

Seto'sSister: I'm on your author alert list! Weeeeeeeeeeee! I feel special! Miroku is gonna get his share of slaps, and kicks, and punches. Here is your warm delicious cookie!

Jessica01: Not really big, but Kagome is going to kinda be acting like Stewie. But no ones gonna get into a fistfight. But there may be a little slap here or there.

Here is your cookie I made it with love.

Possesedangel: Yes, I love all these reviews, and here you go, a cookie.

ILoveSoraandAangMUHAHAHA: Thank you loyal reviewer, here's a cookie.

Jadie-Chan: Thank you, I'm a genius yeah! Enjoy this next work of brilliance while you enjoy a nikce big cookie!

Sora'sGirlAkAJRL: I'm glad you like it, and here is your next dosage of randomness. Enjoy your cookie.

Lovexisxpain: Thank you, and I'm thinking of doing a sequel to this, Family Guy meets Inuyasha (again), when the characters of Family Guy go to Inuyasha's time and help destroy Naraku. (hands you cookie)

AcanthusSuetonius: OMG I will, mind if use your line? (I'll have your name next to it)That would be hilarious, how about Lois finds out about Kagome trying to kill Meg? Here is a nice big thank you cookie.

I-blow-bubblez: You all like this? Wow, I feel special. Thank you. Cookie for you!

KillerKitty93: Thanks, I will! Here is your sugary cookie!

TheCrypticAlchemist: I was thinking of Stewie getting kidnapped by Naraku in the sequel, and then making great friends with him, but I like yours a bit better. A nice cookie for you.

Blackdragonoftheimmortalflame: thanks, that is what makes Family Guy different from everything else, and I am proud to put them in my story, its weird, I think you were the only one who reviewed about the flashbacks. Here's a cookie with the word flashback on it.

COCOPOP13: I sure will! Thanks for reviewing! Here's your cookie.

LyraaSnow: Thanks Here's a cookie that kinda looks like Vash if you turn it on its side.

Hurkydoesntknow: Thanks! I knew people would love this, cause I don't think that there are any of these on this site, but I've wanted to do it for a while. A nice big cookie for you!

Anyway, I'm glad to get reviews about anything at all! So keep doing it or you'll all burn in the fiery bowels of the underworld!

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING (insert evil laugh here)

-

Kagome shook Sango awake.

"Sango, now lets get our revenge!" Kagome said.

"Five more minutes………" Sango answered sleepily.

"No! Now is the perfect time to plan!" Kagome said.

"Can we plan in the morning, I'm tired," Sango said, flipping over once more.

"All right, but we are going to plan right?" Kagome asked, unsure if Sango was backing out or not.

"I don't know………………" Sango answered, a bit annoyed that her friend was disrupting her from her sleep.

"Good night," Kagome said.

"Good night," Sango replied, falling asleep a second later.

-

A/N: I'm not sure if Chris snores, but lets just assume he does.

"God, how can he snore this loud!" Inuyasha said, wide-awake because of Chris snoring his lungs out. Yet Miroku was sleeping soundly, talking in his slumber.

"Oh, Sango, why don't you and I climb into the soft, comfortable bed, OW! That hurt, no, not again, I'm sorry!" Miroku said, waking up as if Sango was really slapping him.

"Can't sleep?" Miroku asked.

"No, listen to that vial human snore," Inuyasha said, pointing to the "vial human" known as Chris.

"Yes, he does snore quite loudly doesn't he?" Miroku answered, he then got up to go to the bathroom.

"Don't you do anything perverted in there!" Inuyasha said.

"I won't," Miroku answered, he wasn't lying, until he got to the bathroom.

"Ohhhhh, what is this?" Miroku asked, looking at a hair dryer.

"Hmmm, what's this?" Miroku said, looking at a shower, and the toilet, and the sink. He had gone through the entire room. Then he saw a clothes hamper. It was filled with clothes from everyone in the family. He grabbed some of Lois's and Meg's things and began sniffing them, then he hit every perverts jackpot: the bras and panties. He stuffed his robe pockets to the max, put everything else back in the hamper, then walked back to the room. Inuyasha looked like he was about to kill Chris, in fact he had his hand at his throat.

"Why don't we just go sleep in the living room?" Miroku asked.

"Sure, why not?" Inuyasha answered.

They both fell asleep quickly. Later, at two in the morning, Peter hobbled home from a night of drinking at the clam, and tried flopped down on the sofa where Inuyasha was currently sleeping.

"Ow! Get off fat man, your heavy, ow!" Inuyasha's muffled voice called up from under Peter. Inuyasha yelled all night and Peter never moved.

The next morning everyone came downstairs to find a flattened Inuyasha.

"Oh Peter, get off of Inuyasha!" Lois said.

"Quiet, I was out drinking last night," he stood up, then he fell on top of Inuyasha again.

"Get off me you son of……….. ow, my superior ribs," Inuyasha muffled.

At breakfast, Miroku was sitting next to Stewie.

"You want me to what? Why? You sicko, okay then," Stewie said. Stewie threw his bottle at the wall.

"Lois, I wanna breastfeed this morning!" he demanded.

"All right then," Lois said as she began to unbutton her shirt. Miroku's eyes began to bulge.

"Miroku, we are out of here!" Sango said, noticing the bulging eyes and twitching fingers.

"Noooooooooooooooo," Miroku said.

"Owwwwwww, owwwwwwwwww, owwwwww!"Miroku shouted from the living room.

"So, anyone see that new episode of CSI?" Peter asked.

"Oh yeah," Lois, Meg, and Chris said. They began discussing American crime drama as screams were heard in the background and Miroku struggled to get back to the safety of the kitchen.

Brian walked in.

"Anyone know why………? Oh that's why," Brian began, noticing Lois's bare-chestedness. He sat down at the table.

Later that day Lois announced that she was going to the supermarket and that she could bring Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Kagome, and Shippo to get clothes.

Sango and Kagome put on Lois's clothes, so that they could avoid stares, they fit pretty well. Miroku and Inuyasha had to put on Peter's clothes. They didn't fit them one bit.

The 12 of them fit very cramped in the car. They were lucky that they weren't pulled over. At the mall they got a lot of curios stares.

"Mommy, that man with the white hair and gold eyes is strange, is he what we call a crack pot?" a little boy asked his mother.

"No sweetie, he is what we call an insane person because no one in the right mind would wear something that was 16 times their size," his mother answered.

"Oh," the boy said. Inuyasha just scowled.

Miroku was having a great time, all the girls in slutty outfits, all the dressing rooms, all the swimsuits and lingerie. Sango noticed this and whispered; "Miroku, do you remember that little chat we had a few weeks ago?" she asked.

Flashback:

"If. You. Ever. Look. At. That. Slut. Kagura. Again. I. Will. Kill. You. You. Frigging. Pervert," Sango yelled slapping Miroku across the face each word.

Flashback end.

"Yes," Miroku sighed and stared at an ugly man to rid himself of the urge.

They bought clothes from five different stores. Hot Topic, Spencer's Gifts, Rave, and Limited Too.

Inuyasha bought baggy black pants and a GIR (in dog form) shirt from Hot Topic. Miroku bought a shirt that said 'Ten things to Never Say to a Cop' on it from Spencer's Gifts and black and white pants from Hot Topic. Sango bought a green ruffle skirt and a black T-shirt from Rave. Kagome bought a pink shirt and jeans from Limited Too. Lois sighed at all the money they were spending.

"Inuyasha, I think you look cute," said Kagome.

"Yeah, me too," Meg added.

"I think he's cuter than you think he is!" Kagome yelled.

"No you don't, I think he looks cuter than you think he does!" Meg shouted back. The two argued back and forth as they headed to the super market.

Inuyasha looked at a shopping cart curiosly. Then, he climbed in and tried to move it.

"Uh, Inuyasha those aren't for…….." Chris began. Kagome stopped him.

"I wanna see what he does," Kagome explained. Inuyasha tried to move back and forth, he moved a few inches.

"I did it!" Inuyasha said happily.

"Mommy, its that insane person from the mall," the little boy from the mall said.

"Just try not to stare at him," his mother answered. Inuyasha pouted.

Sango and Miroku were in the fruit section, getting all the fruit products that Lois needed. Miroku couldn't help but stare at the young mothers bending down to get apples. Sango was bending down a whole lot too.

Miroku was having a ver sick fantasy. It involved fruits and Sango's naked self.

Miroku's fantasy ends by a swift slap in the face by Sango.

"Ow!" Miroku said.

"Stop having sick fantasies and hand me an orange!" Sango said.

"Okay," Miroku said.

Inuyasha, Kagome, and Peter were in the sweets and snackfood aisle. They needed Twinkies and Ho-Ho's. They saw an insane penguin with the last Twinkie box.

"Ha ha ha! Where's the cream filling!" the penguin said, twitching.

"Hey! We need those Twinkies! I shall fight you for them!" Peter said.

"Bring it on!" the insane penguin shouted, pulling out a red light saber.

"Come and get it!" Peter answered, drawing his green light saber. (If I get these terms wrong, I'm sorry, I'm not really into Star Wars). The insane penguin took his light saber and made the first move. Peter blocked and took a slash at the penguin who dodged. The penguin then jabbed, slamming Peter into the potato chips. Inuyasha and Kagome were standing there with a WTFH look on their faces.

"Ha ha ha you thought you could beat me!" the penguin laughed. Peter tripped the penguin and then hit him again, throwing him into a random time warp.

"You can never escape me! Remember I am your father……….." the Penguin said.

"Wait a minute, my father is working with the pope!" Peter said.

"At least we got the Twinkies," Kagome said. Miaka from Fushigi Yugi ran up laughing insanely and stole the wrapped golden snack cakes.

"Awwwww," Kagome and Peter said.

"Next is coffee," Peter said as the three walked down to the next aisle.

Shippo and Stewie were currently in line at the deli. Waiting. Just waiting.

Meg and Chris were in the candy aisle. Ziggy from LazyTown had dozens of bags of candy. Stephanie was behind the aisle.

"It's for his own good, I must help my friends addiction," she said, dialing a number on her cell phone.

"Hello, my friend has an insane addiction with sugar, you'll be here soon, good," she said. The next minute two men in white uniforms ran up and grabbed the candy-addicted zombie and pulled him into a straight jacket, he was screaming like crazy. They hauled him off.

"Stephanie, you did the right thing," Sportacus said.

"I know," Stephanie said. The two walked away. Chris and Meg were just standing there.

Miroku and Sango were now getting doughnuts and muffins. Miroku was having a sick fantasy again.

It involved lots of sprinkles and Sango. SLAP!

"You don't give up, do you?" she said.

Peter, Inuyasha and Kagome were in the coffee aisle. Peter took the last french vanilla coffee mix.

"At least we got that!" Kagome said.

"Feh, whatever," Inuyasha said. The twitchy squirrel from Foamy the squirrel came over and saw that his coffee flavor was gone. In the hands of a huge, fat fiend. He did the only thing he could think to do: he kicked Peter in the place where the sun don't shine.

"Ow, What the heck was that for! Ow!" Peter said. Kagome bent down to help Peter. Inuyasha just stood there laughing.

"That'll teach you to steal my coffee you little son of ……………….!" he began, cut off by Germaine sticking a large needle into the bum of the twitchy squirrel. The squirrel fell over and stopped moving.

"Wait, that wasn't supposed to do that!" Germaine said. She got down and checked for a pulse.

"He's dead, oh………. Germaine said, taking the squirrel and sticking him in between hazelnut and decaf coffee.

Lois, Stewie and Shippo got ham, turkey, and bologna. Some random kids began to sing.

"My bologna has a first name its Oscar, my bologna has a second name its Mayer, I like to eat it everyday and if you ask my why I'll sayyyyyyyyyyyyyy….. AH!" they said.

Stewie had a grenade box in his hand and was looking really suspicious.

"What? They were to sharp," Stewie said to Shippo.

Meg and Chris were in the laundry soap area.

"I've heard that if you believe in yourself, and rub a box of laundry soap, you'll get three wishes," Chris said.

"That's not true," Meg said. Chris began to rub the soap box. The third time, a very fat fairy with a piece of cake in his hands appeared.

"Okay three wishes," he said.

"I want a box of cookies," Chris said. A box of cookies appeared in his hands.

"I want another box!" Chris said. Cookies appeared again.

"And a bra!" Chris said. A bra magically floated down.

"Kay your done," the fairy said and disappeared.

"Wow your dumb," Meg said. They went to go find everyone else.

They all met up at the frozen food section. A black and white hand came out of the refrigerator. It took Inuyasha's hand and pulled him in. (If you've seen the episode when Lois was shoplifting, then you know what this is). Inuyasha was suddenly black and white. The man that pulled him in began to dance. Inuyasha stared awkwardly. He pulled out his Tetsusaiga out and sliced the man in half. He then slashed the wall open and stepped out of the refrigerator.  
"Inuyasha where were you?" Kagome asked.

"I don't know," Inuyasha answered, wiping the black and white blood of his sword. (Thanks to my friend Brittany who gave me that idea!).

The twelve of them made their way home to reruns on TV.

Thank you reviewers. NEXT CHAPTER I'M HANDING OUT PLUSHIES OF ANIME CHARECTARS, TELL ME WHO YOU WANT YOUR PLUSHIE OF!


	3. Kouga the Cage Fighter

Inuyasha meets Family Guy: part 3 

I am so sorry! I haven't been updating as much as I promised! I'm sorry, I'll allow you all to kill me if you'd like! My excuse (though nothing gives me the right to update slowly), is that I have been busy in school. I just got my progress report. I did well. I've just decided that I want to do two years of Math in one. I'm in the seventh grade and I'm going to do this grade of Math and the eighth grade as well. So that's my excuse. You can kill me now.

Let's get to the fic! Let the madness begin! Thank you reviewers, by the way, review or DIE! Wanna cookie?

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing! (It echoed)

-

A week had passed since the Inuyasha crew arrived at the small house on Spooner Street. They were treated like normal people. Yeah, right, they were gawked at, laughed at, and asked embarrassing questions. Today, the group was going to the petting zoo. Why the petting zoo? Peter wanted to see the new animals they had. Lois thought it would be good for Stewie. Everyone else decided it would be fun, except for Inuyasha, who pouted. He had been pouting a lot lately.

Flashbacks:

Inuyasha pouting on the swing surrounded by scared young children.

Inuyasha pouting as he ate the 'evil casserole'.

Inuyasha pouting as the clown at the circus played with his ears

Flashbacks end.

They all piled into the car. Kagome and Meg sat on either side of Inuyasha. Inuyasha was still pouting. Meg clasped onto Inuyasha's shoulder, his pout quickly turned into a glare. Kagome unbuckled her seat belt and jumped onto Meg and began to slap her. Inuyasha just sat there, not caring what happened. He knew that Meg couldn't beat Kagome in anything, so he decided not to worry.

"Kagome! Meg! Do you want to get McDonalds after we go to the petting zoo?" Peter asked.

"Sure, why not?" Kagome answered then went back to slapping Meg.

"What the heck is McDonalds, is it poisonous?" Inuyasha asked. He was unsure of what this 'McDonalds' thing was.

"I don't even know the answer to that," Kagome answered.

Ten minutes later, the stress-increased group got out of the car. Then they made their way up to the ticket booth, where a middle age woman in a red vest asked them how many tickets they would need.

"Uh, yeah, seven adults/teenagers, a half demon, a full demon and a toddler," Peter said.

"Fat man! You exposed us, you fiend, I'll rip the bowels from your belly!" Inuyasha prepared to slash Peter open when the woman handed them their tickets.

"Oh, today is non-human day, so any inhuman creature gets fifty percent off," the woman answered.

"Okay, that's great," Lois said. The group entered the zoo gates.

They first saw the penguins. The penguins were darting everywhere. It seemed that they all had little walkie-talkies in their flippers.

"Boss, they're on to us! Can I make them go boom?" the penguin asked.

"Not yet, it's not time, yet that time will come, for now, just smile and wave, smile and wave," the boss penguin answered.

"You didn't see anything," the boss penguin said to the group.

"Aw, it actually seems like it's talking to you, but we all know that it was Lois's casserole," Peter said. This was followed by a sharp slap to the face by Lois.

"Nice! How did you get it to make that sound!" Sango asked.

"It's all about your palm hitting first, followed by the fingers," Lois answered proudly. Miroku was in a cold sweat.

Their next stop was to the lions. They all looked so menacing. They bared their fangs at the group.

"Oh Inuyasha, I'm so scared, save me!" Meg said.

"Oh no you don't!" Kagome shouted.

"Oh my god, a monkey!" Kagome pointed. Sure enough, everyone looked. Believe it or not, the evil monkey from Chris's closet was standing next to the hotdog stand, pointing at Chris.

Kagome shoved Meg through the bars of the lion cage.

"Mom! Dad! Help!" Meg called. Kagome laughed evilly.

"Kagome, is something wrong?" Miroku asked.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Kagome answered. _Yes, nothing is wrong go about your business, forget about Kagome!_

"Kagome, we're going to see the tigers and bears," Lois said.

"Oh my! Blast that Wizard of Oz scene!" Stewie said.

Several minutes later, the group headed towards the wolves' section.

"I wonder if that stupid wolf Kouga is here," Inuyasha said, he laughed to himself.

"Hey! Mutt, shut up, it's bad enough being stuck here!" a familiar voice rang out from one side of the cage.

"Oh Kouga, what happened?" Kagome asked.

"Well, my dear, sweet, Kagome, A few nights ago, in the feudal era, I came across a strange portal, it was next to a duck. Naturally, I went to take a look and I ended up here, then they put me in a zoo, like some kind of freak, and GET YOUR FACE OUT OF MY BUTT!" Kouga said. He slapped away a wolf that had began to shove it's face into the wolf demon's hind quarters.

"How awful!" Kagome said.

"That is hilarious!" Inuyasha said between laughs.

"Look, just help me," Kouga sighed.

"Okay, uh, Kouga," Kagome started. She then pointed at a door directly behind the wolf demon. The door read: Escape in big, bold letters.

"Oh yeah, I never thought of that, thanks," Kouga answered.

"No problem," Kagome answered. Kouga jumped out of the cage and ran up to Kagome.

"Dear, sweet Kagome, I'm am ever grateful," Kouga said as he grabbed Kagome's hand.

"Shove over Wolf," Inuyasha said.

Back in the lion cage, where all the lions had backed into a corner, for Meg had been shouting her lungs out for Kagome to get her scrawny little behind back there. Suddenly she sensed Kouga.

"Kouga! He's mine, he's mine, he's mine!" she shouted. She pulled the bars apart and jumped out. Then she followed Kouga's scent.

"Oh my god it's Kouga!" Meg shouted. She tackled the defenseless wolf demon to the ground.

"What is the vile beast that crushes my lungs, get off!" Kouga shouted.

"Oh my god it's Kouga!" Chris and Peter shouted.

They jumped on the wolf demon and crushed him half to death.

"Ow, get off!" Kouga shouted. Kouga pushed them off and ran away.

Their next stop was to the petting zoo.

"Stewie, feed the bunny," Lois said.

The bunny licked the food off of Stewie's hand and then, something weird happened. The bunny went EVIL! It's once cute eyes were now red and beady. It grew fangs and then bit Stewie's hand.

"Ouch! You stupid, evil bunny! I shall kill you!" Stewie shouted.

"Oh, Mommy's going to get you a Band-Aid, Inuyasha, hold him," Lois said as she went to get Band-Aid.

"Listen up and listen good, either you let me throw this grenade at that evil bunny, or I shall kill you!" Stewie said.

"No," Inuyasha answered. Stewie then bit his arm and threw all his weight from his head onto the poor half demon.

Ouch, what do you think your doing? Ah, my superior spleen!" Inuyasha said as the toddler beat the great half demon's pride down. The rest of the group was laughing, except for Meg and Kagome, who were fighting again.

After Inuyasha and Stewie stopped fighting, they went to the Exotic Animals cages. They saw lizards that squirted blood out of their eyelids, a monkey that had three tales, a bird that said vulgar things, and a two-tailed cat. Wait a minute that's Kirara!

"Oh, my baby's in there, we have to get her out!" Sango said.

"Don't worry your pretty head Sango, I'll get Kirara!" Miroku said.

"Dun Du Dun Du Dun Dun Du Dun Du Dun Dun Dun," Peter sang as Miroku climbed into the cage and grabbed Kirara.

"To your left you'll see a weird man holding a cat," a tour guide said.

"Oh! So exotic," a tourist said, snapping a picture.

Miroku saw the back door and leapt out. He gave a shaking Kirara to Sango.

"Thank you so much Miroku!" Sango said.

"Ask to sleep with her, ask to sleep with her!" the parrot said.

"That's a great idea, Sango will you bear my-," Miroku began. Sango grabbed his tongue, and pulled.

"Ah, Sango, I need this tongue to talk with!" Miroku pleaded. Sango let go and jumpped up into the cage and snapped the bird's evil neck.

"To your right, you'll see an enraged girl snapping our main attraction's neck, wait Get her!" the guide shouted. The group ran around in between halls, chased by tourists and a strange man in a mask. Kouga had on a long cloak and hood. He backed into the tourists and both him and the tourists ran away. (Scooby Doo reference)

The group was kicked out of the zoo. They began to head to McDonald's. The ride was strenuous. Kagome and Meg were fighting so much and a cop car pulled them over.

"Uh oh," Lois said and glared at the two girls.

"Is there a problem officer?" Peter asked innocently.

"Yeah, the speed limit is 30 miles an hour, you were going 32, I'll have to give you a ticket."

"Aw man, this is worse than that time they switched Happy Days with Dr. Phil," Peter complained.

Flashback:

"We interrupt this program to show you Dr. Phil," an announcer said. "This is gonna be a changin' day in your life! I'm gonna show you what Twinkies can do to you!" Dr. Phil said.

"No!" Peter shouted at the screen.

Flashback end.

The officer answered and began to write up a ticket. He stopped when he saw Inuyasha.

"Oh my god, aren't you Inuyasha?" the officer asked.

"Please, don't jump on me," Inuyasha pleaded under his breath.

"My daughter loves you! Can I get a picture with you?" the officer asked. Inuyasha held out his Tetsaiga and posed. The officer made bunny ears behind his head. About three hundred pictures later, the officer sent them on their way.

"You'll take off the ticket right?" Peter asked.

"No, thanks for the pictures!" the officer said. Inuyasha was now fuming. He had done something for the officer, and he wouldn't do this one little thing for them. The officer will die!

Inuyasha leapt out of the car. He pulled out his Tetsaiga and chased the officer.

"What the! Ah!" the officer screamed as he fell into several bloody pieces on the pavement.

"Freakin' sweet, now I don't have to pay that ticket yay!" Peter cheered. Inuyasha smirked and reentered the car.

At McDonald's they saw a few anime faces. Ryuichi Sakuma and K (a.k.a Claude) were standing in line.

"K, can I get a happy meal?" Ryuichi asked sweetly.

"Why of course, how much does that come to?" K asked the lady at the register.

"$4.50," she said.

"What? That is outrageous!" K said. He shot the lady at the register. She was replaced with a robot that looked just like her.

They also saw Edward Elric and Roy Mustang.

"Would you like to substitute the soda with a milk?" the robot cashier asked Ed.

"I don't need milk! I'm not short! Who are you calling so small that they can slip between the pages of a book? Huh?" Edward spased.

"Full Metal, no one said that," Roy answered and laughed.

Edward was killing the robot by ripping her head off. She was replaced yet again.

"Hey, is that Kagome?" Roy asked as he slid over to her.

"Why hello there, your quite a se-," Roy began, he was immediately hit over the head with Inuyasha's Tetsaiga. He passed out. Inuyasha hid Roy under a table.

But then, the group heard whom they never thought they'd see in this Era.

"Lord Sesshomaru, Can I get ice cream?" a sugar-high Rin asked.

"I don't know what this ice cream thing is, but I know that it will make you more excited than you already are, so the answer is no," a stressed out Sesshomaru answered. Sesshomaru's normally perfect hair was cow-licked and uncombed.

"Oh my god, it's Sesshomaru," Meg called.

"Hey big brother have you met Meg yet," Inuyasha asked as he shoved Meg toward his elder brother.

"What vile creature is this, it's crushing my superior full demon chest!" Sesshomaru called. Jaken began to beat on Meg's back with the Staff of Heads.

"So, you touched that portal as well," Miroku said.

"Yeah, well, Rin wanted to pet the ducky and we all fell in," Sesshomaru answered.

The group had ordered and they were all sitting in one big booth.

"Want to join us Sesshomaru?" Meg asked.

"No way, I'm leaving, Rin has just successfully puked on my superior body, now I must go and find some sort of remedy for her," Sesshomaru said.

"Do you mean cherry flavored Pepto Bismal?" Chris asked. Several people walked into the middle of the restaurant. They broke out in song.

"Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhe- Ah!" the people sang, then screamed as Stewie through a grenade at them.

"What? They were flat!" Stewie said to Shippo. Shippo rolled his eyes and went back to his french fries. _Stewie is a bit weird, every night I hear him talk to himself about killing his mother, there's a Naraku in the making,_ he thought.

Chris was eating his 3rd cheeseburger when he spilled ketchup on Sango's skirt.

"Oh, sorry Sango," Chris apologized.

"That's okay," Sango answered.

"Oh let me wash that off," Miroku said.

"No, really, that's all right I- Miroku put me down!" Sango said as she was being carried to the bathroom.

Several screams of "You lech!" and "Gimme my skirt now!" were heard. Then they heard slaps and apologies.

The two came out of the bathroom. Sango's skirt was backwards, and Miroku was covered in slap marks. The pair sat down and continued eating.

That night, they all were sitting down watching a show called Sponge Bob Squarepants. A sponge and a starfish were walking into a building labeled the Krusty Krab. The sponge went into the kitchen and began to prepare something for the starfish.

"That good for nothing demon will pay for stealing my golden spatula. He didn't think I'd notice, but he was wrong. Oh, boy he was wrong. A bottle labeled poison was in his yellow hands. The screen then spelled out TO BE CONTINUED!

"They always cut off at the good parts don't they?" Peter said.

"In my opinion, anyone who does that should be grilled, then eaten, aw, I made myself hungry," Chris said. He got up and ran to the kitchen. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Who is it?

TO BE CONTINUED! MUHAHAHAHA! Don't you want to kill me?

-

Thank you for all the reviews! They bring peace to my heart, which is filled with pudding. I like pudding. Off topic, I know. But anyway, reviews! I love you all, my loyal reviewing fans.

xFadeToBlackx: Thank you. You really thought it was that funny. I hope you didn't frighten your Grandmother to death, but you definitely deserve your Kanna plushie!

Jessica01: I knew people would like Inuyasha killing the dude from the grocery shelf! You deserve your Inuyasha plushie, he's slicing up the dude from the grocery shelf, where did I ever find this plushie? I don't know.

Liquidmoon: Oh, I'm sorry you got lost. The penguin was from those Hostess comercials, Miaka was from Fushigi Yugi, Miaka eats a lot. Ziggy, Stephanie, and Sportacus were from this kids show called LazyTown, and the squirrel and Germaine were from Foamy the Squirrel. Since you reviewed, you get your Shippo plushie!

Princessstephanie: OMG, really, I live right near a mall right near me that just added those stores, so I thought I'd put them in, that's cool. Here is your Shake plushie, enjoy!

ihatezezima: Its nice to hear I'm doing a good job! Of course you can have a Kirara plushie.

Seto'sSister: Hello to you as well, sure you can have a Kanna plushie. Aren't weird, random stories the best!

TheFalloftheSpirited: You think my story is funny? That makes me warm inside! Thank you! Don't break yourself, here is your Kanna plushie!

KillerKitty93: Thank you! I love to here what your favorite parts are.  I love Hot Topic as well! I would be happy to give you a Sasami plushie!

SwordsmanofFire: I think I will have a giant chicken fight, thanks for the idea! I want to hear your ideas as well, they don't bother me one bit! Here is your Edward Elric plushie, my friend is obsessed with him.

TheDarkWolvesDemoness: Oh, I have a great idea, Sesshomaru, Jaken, and Rin will come! Thank you! Here is a Sesshomaru plushie for you!

simplyshort203: Definitely. You get your Sasuke plushie! Yay!

AcanthusSuetonius: Thank you! Your line will be added graciously! You get your 'I gave the authoress who rules so much, a line for her awesome fic' cookie. That took a lot of icing!

BubblyShell22: You wrote an awesome well thought out review, I will give you your TWO plushies for your review! (hands you Yoh and Aelita) I love Code Lyoko, and I'm not sure if it's an anime or not. When you say shout outs, do mean answering reviews or when I said my friend gave me that idea? Or was it something else? Thank you so much for your review!

goldensundragoon: Thanks, here is my third chapter! Sorry it took so long!

PrivateTamama: Thank you, I haven't seen/read Sergeant Frog, but I've heard of it. You get your Sergeant Keroro!

EverlastingWolf: Thanks, that was my favorite episode ever. Thanks again for reviewing!

GothicKirara7: Thanks, your awesome too! Here is your Kirara plushie my loyal reviewer!

AliWally13: Thank you so much! I thought there were going to be tones of Inuyasha meets Family Guy fics, but I'm the first! Thank you for saying I'm creative!

kittykute: You were laughing in your sleep! Awesome! Thank you! Here is your well-earned Kirara plushie!

Redmoonfae: Thank you, you deserve your Kiba plushie! You can stop jumping, or is that just me jumping. Oh, it's me!

luckyroze20: I love Full Metal Alchemist, I'll be sure to use them I the story! Your idea is awesome! I'll be sure to use it (with your name of course!)

blackdragonoftheimortalflame: Thank you! Another creepy guy fan! Here is your Inuyasha plushie!

poppiekins666: I will definitely use it! I was thinking of doing that for a little while now, so I will do it in this chapter! Thank you! Here is your totally earned Jaken-Kikyo Siamese twin plushie!

DiasakutheStalker: Why thank you! Once again, I didn't know I was being original, OMG I feel good! Here is your Sesshomaru plushie!

MysteriosWind: I started a new fad! Really! I rule, and so do you! Here is a truckload of Miroku plushies, go show off to your friend! Thank you! P.S, I thought this up one night while eating grilled cheese.

InuYashaKougaLovr92: I'm glad you love it. I will continue thank you so much for reviewing!

ChrisVolt: I am so sorry, I didn't get to email you. I've been so swamped with school, I barely get on the computer, and when I get on, I'm busy typing other stories or yelling at my stupid computer with slow connection. But if you'd like to email me instead, my father's email address is Sorry I can't give you mine. Thank you so much for a kind review!

lil'lady08: That's okay, you can be late any time you want! Here is your Pikachu plushie!

SulanaJay: OMG I love D.N Angel! Of course you can have a Diasuke! Sora rules as well!

SilverHairFox: So do I, thank you so much for the review!

GDAIheartgrenade: My original sick fantasys were going to be too graphic, so I decided to change them into the ones used in the last chapter. Thank you, I didn't think I would get any reviews on the sick fantasys. Thanks!

azngirlchibi: Didn't think it ever would happen, did you! Thank you, neither did I until I thought long and hard. The thinking hurt.

Sinthetik Angel: I bet you're talented enough! Go for it! I'll definitely read it! Thank you so much for your review.

Katamara: It is cool isn't it! You won't believe that a weird, dorky, over-achiever wrote this, that is obsessed with anime and waging war on my teacher who hates anime! Thanks!

HeatWave222: Sure I will! This should be fun! Thanks!

T.R.Fanatic: I'm glad I could provide you with some form entertainment. Thank you!

Nabih: Ouch! Well it's nice to know that someone is brave enough to tell me that I'm not doing as good as I could be. Well, I'm going to warn you that this is a story fit to the Family Guy script. So it's not going to be as structured as my sequel will be, where Family Guy characters will be fit to the Inuyasha script. I'm sorry I disappointed you. Not to back talk you, but I did spend a lot of time on this, I really did. If this wasn't what you were looking for, might I suggest my fantasy story on Fictionpress? It's called Sword Slash, I believe it to be well written and very literate. Or maybe my horror stories, One who Stalks Darkness and 13Death13, or maybe my poems? If you would like to, search up anime2emo on fictionpress.

ThetakissElle: I'm sorry that this was so 'painful' to read. I don't really enjoy getting flames. I thought it would be fun to mix Family Guy and Inuyasha, since a mostly serious show mixed with Family Guy would be fun. Thank you for the review though.

Bye bye!

Emotional anime


	4. The camping Trip at 5 AM

Inuyasha Meets Family Guy: part 4 

Hi again! How was everyone's turkey day? I went to this fancy brunch place with my family. It was fun, but my little sister acted up a lot. So onto the fic!

-

Last time, on Inuyasha:

There was a knock on the door. Wait a minute, we're getting paid for this segment, let's do some shout outs! Hi Mom, look at me now! You thought I could never get into show biz!

-

Peter stood up and answered the door. In the doorway was an aggravated Sesshomaru, a sugar high Rin, and a scared Jaken.

"Do you know any way to make it stop? Not that I need help though!" Seshomaru asked.

"Oh my God! It's Sesshomaru!" Peter shouted as he jumped on the poor demon.

"Ow, he's worse than that badger-creature that jumped on me in that infernal restaurant!

"Sugar! Need sugar!" Rin shouted as she ran up the block and back.

"Listen to me Lardo, I need an antidote for this sugar stuff, give me the cure or I'll rip you to bits!" Sesshomaru threatened. Lois appeared at Peter's side.

"I hate to break it to you, but there is no cure, you'll just have to wait it out," she said.

The five went inside. Rin ran around in a circle several times. Inuyasha, who was trying to figure out Sponge bob Squarepants, didn't notice his older brother and nemesis enter the room.

"Inuyasha, you're as easy to sneak up on as ever," Sesshomaru said, right beside his head.

"Ah! Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha shouted.

"What are you doing here?" asked Chris, who had returned from the kitchen only moments ago.

"Sugar abused child," Sesshomaru answered.

About an hour later, after watching Rin run around in circles several hundred times, she finally passed out on top of Chris.

"Aw, Rin's asleep on me," Chris said. Suddenly, Rin slipped under Chris's belly and soon the room was filled with soft snores, she must have been comfortable.

"Aw, Rin's in my belly, ha ha, she tickles," Chris replied.

"Sesshomaru, would you like to spend the night? Cough, cough, inmyroom, cough, cough," Meg asked.

"Didn't catch that last part," Sesshomaru answered.

"Want to spend the night?" Meg repeated.

"Why not." Sesshomaru sighed at the thought of his long day.

Sesshomaru ended up staying for three days before anything really happened. So far the only thing that had been interesting was the fact that Inuyasha and Sesshomaru chased the mailmen.

Lois then walked in with a pamphlet in one hand.

"Hey, I got us a resort, maybe we can go camping one night or something!" she said.

"Camping plot? You know I hate camping!" Peter said.

"Camping sounds like fun!" Sango said.

"That's good, because we are leaving tomorrow at five a.m!" Lois replied, trying to sound cheerful.

"5 a.m!" they all exclaimed.

The groups argued for a bit, then decided that it would be best to just go. They all began to pack. Each one packed camping clothes (Lois bought the Inuyasha crew camping clothes the other day), and a few small possessions. Meg had her Inuyasha figures, cell phone, and wallet. Chris packed a hot dog, a cheeseburger, and a jar of pickles.

"There little ones, you're all ready for tomorrows journey," Chris said to his food.

"Jerk! You're never gonna get away with this!" the hotdog snapped.

"I already have," Chris answered maniacally.

The next morning, the disgruntled group of fifteen people clambered into the car. It was cramped and people were hot and sweaty. Lois tried to cheer the group up by singing a song.

"The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, all through the town!" Everyone began to sing. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, who were seated next to each other, pouted.

"How do you live like this?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Frankly, I don't even know," Inuyasha answered.

It was noon when the group got to the camp. They had stopped several times for various reasons.

Reason #1: Peter had to go to the bathroom, only to find the rest stop bathroom to be filled to capacity. So he ran over to a drink machine and bought a soda. He then swallowed the soda in one bite, then relieved himself in the empty can. With no where to put the urine filled cup, he poured it on a plant in the window.

Reason #2: Chris was hungry. He went to the Subways at the rest stop. He went to order a sandwich, when he saw (dun dun dun). The Evil Monkey! It pointed at him. Chris ran as fast as he could.

"Hey, that's so mean, it's not his fault he looks like a monkey! You should be more tolerant of ugly people!" a woman said to him.

Reason #3: There was a sale on Batman underwear. Peter and Chris tried on the speedo-style underwear and ran around with their shirts tied around their necks. Around the store they ran, shouting "Na na na na na na na na na na Batman!" they were kicked out of the store and onto the cold pavement.

The group made their way to the front desk.

"Uh, hi, we're hear about the plot we bought.

"Ah yes, you must be Mrs. Griffen, I'm Mr. Daniels, I'll show you to your rooms," he said.

Mr. Daniels opened door 14. Inside sat a girl with long silky black hair and a man with long red hair and a scar on his left cheek.

"Oh, Kenshin, I finally can tell you how I feel," she said.

"Kaoru, I know that you love me," Kenshin replied.

"No, that wasn't what I was going to tell you, it's just that I love Yahiko," Kaoru replied.

"You love a ten year old!" Kenshin asked in shock.

"Yes, one day, while I was putting away groceries, he came up to me, and before we knew it, we were kissing and my pants were off," she began. Mr. Daniels apologized to the group and closed the door.

"Your rooms are 15, 16, and 17, sorry about the mix up," Mr. Daniels said.

"Not at all," Lois said.

"Just holler if you need something!" Mr. Daniels said. With that, he turned and went back to the front desk.

"Okay, Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Miroku, Jaken, and Chris will share room 15," Lois read off a sheet of paper.

"Ha, she called my name first," Inuyasha bragged to his eldest brother.

"Who cares," Sesshomaru replied.

"Moving on, Kagome, Sango, Meg, and Rin will share room 16," Lois continued.

_I have to share a room with _her!_ My life is over_, Meg thought. Kagome, on the other hand was making a mental reminder to sharpen her arrows.

"And Peter, Shippo, Brian, Stewie, and I will share room 17," Lois finished. The group split up to unpack and get settled.

Inuyasha's group was just finished packing when two roaches cane out of the bathroom.'

"Hey, get out of here before we cut you up so bad that you wish you wouldn't be cut up anymore! Oh my God, its Jaken!" said one of the roaches, which was named Bob.

"You've heard of me? I feel so special!" Jaken said, tears flowing down his cheeks in happiness. No one ever much cared for him.

"Duh, of course we've heard of you!" said the other roach, whose name was Fred.

"Yeah, you bring the funk to that hero filled show!" Bob added. This comment was followed by stares from his fellow roach.

"Funk? What is your problem?" Fred replied.

"I'm just trying to fit in!" Fred then stabbed Bob in the leg. Bob fell over, twitching as blood stained the hardwood floor. The group stared in awe, confusion, and awkwardness.

Let's check in on Kagome's group. Currently, Kagome was putting her clothes in the drawer when she saw Dark, the phantom thief.

"Why hello there!" Dark said in his suave voice.

"Hello," Kagome said, pondering how a person could fit in a dresser. Meg then rushed up to the drawer. She began to pant and stutter.

"Oh my God, oh my God! It's Dark the phantom thief!" Meg said.

"Oh my, what a sore for my eyes! Krad peddle!" Dark called to a blond person below him.

"It's always do this Krad, do that Krad! I mean, I love you but I wish you weren't always ordering me around!" Krad replied.

"Name one time!" Dark demanded.

"Last night when you demanded me to put on that pink dress with the tassels!" Krad answered. Krad gave in and decided to peddle. The dresser lifted off the ground and was steered out the window.

Lois was putting her group's jackets in the closet. She had opened the closet halfway when she saw one half of a human head. Lois dropped the coats and slowly opened the closet fully. Under the coat rack was a boy and an older girl. They both had very blank expressions on their faces. There was also a large dark aura spinning around the two.

"I'm Hanajima and this is my younger brother Megumi, pay no attention to the swirling aura that is currently surrounding my younger sibling and I," Hana said.

"Could you close the closet door now?" Megumi asked solemnly. Lois did just that and backed away slowly. Oh how the nightmares would visit her that night.

It was dinnertime when Chris brought up an idea. He and Brian were going to check out what the hotel had to do, when they noticed the pool. It was a beautiful indoor pool with two small waterslides allowing entry into the pool. There were also small islands and the pool water was a superb turquoise color. Oh how Chris wanted to urinate in it!

"We saw a pool! Can we go swimming?" Chris asked.

"That's a great idea! We can go after supper," Lois said. "And after Shippo's eaten his vegetables."

"But I don' wanna!" Shippo complained.

"They'll make you big and strong!" Lois persuaded.

"But I am strong!" Shippo defended.

"Just eat them, so we can go to that pool place!" Inuyasha interjected.

"But Inuyasha, you haven't touched your vegetables either," Kagome said. Inuyasha pouted.

When the vegetables were finally wolfed down after a clever 'Naraku's reincarnation that can only be destroyed by being eaten is on your plate', The group headed toward the shower room. Inuyasha grabbed the red swimming trunks that Lois had bought him. Miroku was stepping into his black, somewhat shorter swimsuit when compared to Inuyasha's. Shippo was in blue swimming trunks that were almost hidden by a huge inner tube duck. The girls were ready as well. Kagome, whose hair was pulled into a ponytail in the back of her head, held up by a green ribbon. Her 1-piece bathing suit was green as well and hugged her waist tightly. Sango was in a purple 3-piece swimsuit with a light purple top and bottom, and dark purple skirt. Her hair was tucked into a bun.

The group was in the pool, Kagome was splashing Inuyasha, who in turn spit water at her. Much to Inuyasha's dismay, the lifeguard shouted at him.

"No spitting water!"

Inuyasha pouted and swam under the water.

Miroku had spotted a group of woman in bikinis. He couldn't see their faces, but he did see bikinis. It was now or never. He gave a quick observation of where Sango was standing or if she'd see him or not. She was busy playing with Stewie and Shippo. Sango would never suspect a thing. He made his way over to the ladies, he still couldn't see them clearly, but he started to talk to them anyway.

"Hello there, lovely ladies, I'm Miroku," he flirted.

"Miroku! Is it really you?" the woman asked. He then saw her move her hands to her waist. He saw the wrinkled skin of the women. They were old! Worst of all, one of them was (dun dun dun!) Kaede! Miroku tried to run, but one of the other women dragged him back.

"Hey cutie!" she flirted.

"Ah, no Sango! Help!" the man cried after being pulled under the water and being touched by old lady hands.

"And that, boys is what we call a pervert, any questions," Sango said from across the pool.

Peter and Lois were in the hot tub, Peter had his hands around her waist and she was sitting on him. Lois was relaxed and immersed in the warmness of the tub. Peter was looking around, bored. Suddenly, he saw a bake sale outside. He stood up, dropping Lois to the floor of the hot tube. Before she got back up to surface, he ended up banging the heating thermostat for the hot tub to "Eiri Yuki hot", which burned Lois's face. She stood up, climbed out of the tub and punched Peter in the nose. Peter was just standing there while his nose bled.

Chris, Meg, and Sesshomaru were having a race across the pool. Sesshomaru didn't know why he was competing in this barbarian's competition.

"Why am I competing in this barbarian's competition?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Don't you remember?" Chris asked.

Flashback:

Sesshoamru is sitting on a lawn chair in his white-with-red-floral-print swimming trunks when a bunch of fan girls attacked. They jumped on the poor full demon and played with his hair. Pool management was watching a little boy play with a Barbie doll. Sesshomaru was calling for assistance.

Flashback end.

"Oh yeah," Sesshomaru stated.

"On your mark, get set. Go!" Chris shouted as he laughed and swan away. Meg had a close lead. Sesshomaru was about to swim, when he saw Rin run across the slippery poolside and slip.

"Rin! Look out!" Sesshomaru called out to the pink swimsuit-clad figure that was Rin. Sesshomaru climbed out of the pool and ran to save Rin from falling. Time seemed to be moving slowly as Sesshomaru ran. Or it could be the fact that he was running slowly, he just didn't realize it. The lifeguard then cut in front of Rin and caught her. Rin's face broke out into a look of surprise and gratitude.

"Be more careful, don't want you to get hurt," said the lifeguard, who was named Ken.

"Thanks!" Rin said as he put her down. Sesshomaru was officially upset and cranky.

"Sesshomaru, I won!" Chris called. Sesshomaru pushed him back and began to talk to himself.

"Think he can waltz in and save Rin, Rin's my responsibility! By the end of this three-day trip, I will have my revenge on that red trunked fool!" Sesshomaru declared.

"Dude, who are you talking to?" a random dude asked.

Brian was swimming around with Jaken.

"Hey, what do you think of those roaches, I mean, they are kinda nice, but the whole thing they were talking about before dinner was kinda weird, don't you think?" Jaken asked as he doggie paddled along with Brian.

"You mean about that whole initiation, yeah totally," Brian answered. Suddenly a big red monster came out.

"Oh my god, what is that thing?" Brian asked.

"I'm a pool blob, say do you have any pizza?" the blob asked. The two shook their heads in awe.

"Awe, too bad," the blob sighed. A voice ran out from even farther down in the pool.

"Honey, did you get the pizza yet?" the voice complained.

"No dear."

The blob sighed and went away. The dog and demon stared.

Inuyasha and Kagome were still splashing each other. Inuyasha had pulled his hair tie out. He then ducked below the water's surface to avoid getting hit by a splash of water aimed at him. When he came up, his hair had fallen in front of his eyes and he couldn't see. Kagome laughed and splashed him more.

It was time to leave the pool. The group changed and went back to their rooms. Each was tired and ready to sleep in the comfortable beds the hotel had to offer. Little did they know that the next night they would be sleeping outside in the untamed wilderness of American woods!

-

OMG I updated! So, the next IMFG update will be about camping! Yay! Keep on reviewing! Bye!


	5. The Peter Copter Kills

Inuyasha Meets Family Guy: part 5

Thank you again for the awesome reviews! They warm my heart up! Onto the fic!

Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this chapter besides this idea, I would have Sesshomaru be my servant and I'd make him wear a cow suit. (Muwahahahaha! Ha)

-

At the crack of dawn, all three groups woke up to the sound of robins chirping in their trees, then the sound of grenades as they here Stewie shout "You were to piano, you must forte, forte!"

They all headed down to the kitchen area and sat at a table. Lois sat down then asked the question of doom!

"So, I was thinking maybe we should go camping!" Lois said.

"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, Lois, this isn't Aunt Jemima syrup on my pancakes!" Peter shouts. Everyone looks at him. "Anyway, I hate camping!"

"Too bad fat man! It wouldn't kill you to get off your fat butt once in a while you disgusting pig!" Stewie shouts.

"Never! I'll get the PeterCopter!" he shouts. He runs out the door and jumps into a blue helicopter.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ah, Ouch, Ah owie!" Peter laughs then shouts as the propeller tracks in the dirt. He spins around several times and then Mr. Daniels runs out to help. The propeller gets caught on his jacket. Mr. Daniels is thrown up into the air and gets tossed around. Suddenly, Mr. Daniels is thrown off and lands in a bloody heap on the ground. The kids from Southpark come up.

"Oh my God! They killed Mr. Daniels!" Stan says.

"You Bastar, wait we don't even know this guy!" Kyle says. The kids walk away.

Peter digs a hole in the ground and buries Mr. Daniels.

"Lois, I don't want to go camping!"Peter complained as the group, all in their outdoors clothes, walked along a trail.

"Stop complaining, I don't really want to do this either!" Inuyasha said, pouting and looking in the opposite direction.

-

The group had gotten to the campground after walking about a mile. Inuyasha and Peter were bored. While Kagome, Sango, and Lois were at the front, having the time of their lives. Meg, Chris, Jaken, Brian and, Sesshomaru were toward the middle, not really caring about too much.

The campground was a beautiful site. There was a clear, blue lake on site and a spacious camping plot. Evergreen trees swayed in the slight wind as their needles slowly fell to the ground around the base of the trees. Yet there was no time to look at the campsite, they first had to set up camp.

Kagome, Sango, Meg, and Lois were going to stay in one tent. So they began to set it up.

"Kagome, could you hold that pole inside the tent steady?" Lois asked.

"Sure."

Kagome crouched down and entered the tent. She nearly had a heart attack when she saw a little girl with pigtails sitting in the far corner of the tent. Kagome shouted. Then she realized that the girl was shaking, in a fetal position. It was Chiyo from Azumanga Daioh! She was muttering to herself.

"No, no, no, Miss. Yukari, slow down, slow down! No, please stop! Grandpa! Grandpa!" she shouted, as her eyes seemed to grow to the size of dinner plates in fear. Kagome was shocked and leaning on the ball of her back foot for support as she held her heart in fear.

_Who is this girl? Why didn't we see her before? Who the heck is she muttering about?_ Kagome thought. Suddenly, a woman's head protruded into the tent.

"Chiyo-chan! Time to go! Remember, you get to ride in _my_ car!" the woman said.

"No, Miss. Yukari!" Chiyo began. Suddenly, the brunette grabbed the short, shaking redhead.

"Help! I'm going to die!" she shouted, while being dragged out of the tent by her small ankles. When the redhead was gone, Kagome sighed. Yet she had the feeling that she had sent the girl to her death.

-

Jaken, Rin, Stewie, and Shippo were playing in the lake while Sesshomaru, Peter, and Brian watched them. Jaken splashed Rin across the face with water. Rin fell over. She's wasn't hurt in any way, but decided to cry for the heck of it.

"Waaaaaah, Lord Sesshomaru, Jaken hurt me!" Rin cried. Sesshomaru stood up and punched Jaken in the head. Then he returned to his seat on the banks of the lake. Stewie was making a sandcastle with Shippo.

"I'll make a tower here and a door here," Shippo said.

"I need to make a cannon here and box of guns over here," Stewie added optimistically. Shippo peers at Stewie with a WTH look on his face. Stewie shrugs and laughs to himself. This just increased Shippo's look of fright.

-

That night, they had a campfire and roasted marshmallows. Inuyasha stuck his stick of marshmallows into the fire.

"Uh, Inuyasha, you're not supposed to stick it in that far!" Brian warned. Inuyasha had put his whole stick in the fire. He smirked and held the stick at the bottom.

"Inuyasha, what are you doing!" Kagome shouts as Inuyasha makes his way over to Sesshomaru, who's sitting by the lake, looking at his reflection. Inuyasha got closer, and closer, and was in touching distance of Sesshomaru's white mane, when Sesshomaru moved to the left and Inuyasha immediately plummets into the lake, the torch's flame gone.

"Dang!" Inuyasha said as he drops the stick and climbs out of the water. He shook off, soaking his elder brother from head to toe in water.

"Ugh," Sesshomaru said in an exasperated fashion.

-

It was time for **Scary Stories** muwahahahah!

"All right I'll start," Peter said, putting a flashlight in front of his face. "Once upon a time there was huge explosion! Everything else had died; except for one courageous Ho-Ho that had been smart enough to hide in a bomb-shelter until the explosion was over. He decided to go to the library and learn everything he could about the world. But then, terror struck!" A collective gasp came from several people around the fire.

"Then, while he was picking up a book, he dropped it onto the ground. As he bent foreword to pick it up, the ground began to shake. Suddenly, the bookcases collapsed around the poor snack product! He was crushed! Then the little bugger shouts 'my eyes! Why! Why? My beautiful eyes!" he shouts, as he shudders and dies, and that is the story of Thanksgiving!" Peter said, clapping his hands together and smiling. Everyone stared at Peter.

"Okay, that's enough mental scaring for a while, lets go to bed, Stewie's tired anyway," Lois said.

"What! But I want to hear more about the squished Ho-Ho! Vial woman, let me down!" Stewie complained as he was dragged to his mother's tent.

Everyone said goodnight to each other and headed to their tents. Almost everyone was asleep in minutes. Except for Brian, who had just fallen asleep when he felt something tickle his canine nose. He tried to brush it away, yet it came back up. When Brian couldn't ignore it any longer, he sat up and looked at the thing. It was a spider!

"Hello there, I'm Anatsi, you may have heard of me in some African folktales," the spider said. Brian shouted and began to stomp on it.

"Spider!" he shouted.

"Stop please!" the spider pleads, and then a _squish _sound comes from bellow Brian's foot. Brian climbs back into bed and fell asleep within seconds. He was pleased with himself.

-

The next morning, everyone packed up and headed back to the car.

"Well, I guess it's time to go, but first," Peter began. He looked at Brian who smirked. Then the two erupted in g, in random banana suits.

"Peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time!" they sang.

"What is wrong with people from this time period?" Sesshomaru asked Inuyasha.

"I don't know, but it really scares me," Inuyasha answered with a slight note of terror in his voice.

-

Alrightey people, since I have been getting so many reviews and since this chapter was short and slightly uninteresting, I'm going to give you all a treat! Its called Sesshomaru argues with the Authoress. Muhahaha, here you go.

-

"Sesshomaru, I have a feeling that you don't want to be in my fanfiction," Liz (the all-powerful authoress), says to the full-demon, which was sitting on a box of provolone cheese in front of her desk, which is made of pudding cups.

"Your right, I don't want to be in this stupid game any more, I want to go home," Sesshomaru answers.

"Sesshy, do even know who I am?" Liz says, sitting up straight in her chair with an optimistic smile on her face.

"I know you were the one who brought Rin, Jaken, and myself out to this godforsaken land, but besides that, no I don't know much about you," Sesshomaru answers, trying to be strong.

"First of all, I am Liz, your tormentor and ruler until the day comes when I decide to let you go," Liz says, in a ditsy, yet creepy voice. "Let me know if there is anything I can do to make your experience here any more bearable," she says in false sweetness.

"Well, can I have a pudding cup?" he mutters under his breath.

"Couldn't catch that," Liz says as her face contracts a look of innocence.

"Can I have a pudding cup?" he asks again, not sure about what might happen.

"You want a pudding cup?" Liz asks, smirking at the demon.

"Yes," Sesshomaru says.

"Too bad, the pudding is mine!" Liz says, she twitches and smiles at the same time, striking fear in the poor demon.

"Oh come on! Then, I'll kill you!" Sesshomaru says, pinning the 12-year-old girl's shirt, which had an insane turtle on it.

"No, you won't," Liz answers with dangerously honeyed tones. She stands up and pulls something out of a closet behind her. Liz puts a soft, fluffy, thing on the table.

"Is that my-?" Sesshomaru begins.

"Yes, it's your precious fluffle," Liz says. She holds a bottle above it.

"What are you going to do with it!" Sesshomaru asks, giving a worried look at his precious fluffle.

"Oh nothing, just spill Coke on it!" Liz laughs insanely.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wanna try me?"

"Don't do it!" Sesshomaru pleads.

"Then stay in my fanfiction," Liz says, putting the Coke down.

"Alright, I'll do it, I'll do it! I'll stay!" Sesshomaru cries. Liz throws the fluffle to the poor demon, who tries to run away when Liz speaks in harsh tones for the first time in the conversation.

"Not so fast fluffy!" she says. Sesshomaru turns around to see a smiling authoress.

"Have a nice day," she says in her sickly sweet tones.

"Yes," Sesshomaru replies as he runs out the door.

Liz sits back and grins like the Cheshire cat and thinks to herself: _so the foolish demon thinks he can run, huh. I'll show him! Muwahahahahahaha!_

Penguin minion #4 interrupts her thoughts and told her that _Alice in Wonderland _was on. Liz cheerful sits down in front of her television and pulls one of her assorted penguin minions into her lap. Just another day in the life of an insane authoress!

-

So, what do you all think, please clicky clicky one the button below! I hope you enjoyed this chapter of IMFG!


	6. Christmas Time of Fluff

Inuyasha Meets Family Guy: part 6

OMG! This is so awesome! I've made it past five chapters! How amazing and cool! I've got a very special treat for you! This chapter is going to be the Christmas chapter! Even though the camping trip was in September, we are going to skip ahead to December! Enjoy!

Author's Note: I don't know if you haven't noticed before, but I have never made one racist comment in this whole story. I've also never used a complete swear in any chapter. I've implied it, but never fully said the word. You all say that this story is really awesome and funny as well! My other stories have used swears and they aren't nearly as popular as this one. So I just thought I'd say that.

Merry Christmas one and all! Or Happy Holidays if you don't celebrate Christmas, got no problem with that once so ever! Let's start the fic!

Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this chapter, I would have power and fortune! I would rule the world! Too bad I don't own anything, wah.

-

"What? What is this Christmas thing of which you American mortals speak of!" Inuyasha shouted. It was December 22cnd, and nobody in either party had even thought about what they were going to do for the holidays.

"I think I read a bit about it in school, isn't it the day that the Christians believe that their savior Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary and became both human and divine spirit?" Kagome said.

"Yes, and more importantly, the day a big fat man named Santa breaks into your home and leaves free stuff for the good little children! And the bad children get coal that could be used to power trains!" Peter said, crossing his hands in a matter-of-fact fashion. (Please God, don't cast me to the fire bowels of the underworld for that one)

"So then what do we have to do?" Sango asked.

"We buy presents for each other, we have a big tree, a big dinner, and we'll bring you guys to see the Mall Santa!" Lois said.

"Sounds fun," Rin said from the sofa.

"Okay, we don't have much time left, so tomorrow we'll split up the tasks. Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Chris, and Peter will get the tree. Then, I'll need help from Kagome, Sango, Meg, and Rin to make the dinner. We'll all go to mall and buy presents for each other. Finally, we'll all go see Santa at the mall!" Lois said in a cheerful, holiday voice.

"Sure," Kagome said.

"Goodnight everyone," Lois said as she picked up a now sleeping Stewie and brought him up the stairs on his shoulder. Everyone went to bed with a yawn, for the fact that the day had worn them out. They had gone for a simple walk with another fight between Kagome and Meg, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru chasing an innocent mailman, Stewie throwing grenades at a choir, and Miroku just being himself: a complete lech!

But that night however, sugarplums danced in some of the group members' head. While someone dreamed of a dead Meg or a dead Kagome. Another dreamed of a dead Lois, who's corpse crackled in the fire. Some dreamed of food and gifts, while another dreamed of candy and sugar. The last one dreamed of girls, short girls and tall girls all with there own style of clothing. The man woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his bed was wet.

-

It was morning. Everyone came down for the morning meal of buy-product cereal. When everyone was finished, they got straight into the car. Peter drove for a bit and blasted the radio. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru held their ears; the noise was ear splitting! They finally arrived at their destination: the Christmas Tree Selling Place. It was amazing how they fit it all on one sign.

The group parked their car. They saw a long line leading to a small stand. The group got behind four people, a girl and three boys. The girl then spoke to them. "Hi, I'm Tea! Will you be our friends?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Yeah, will you?" a boy with a pointy, multi-colored hair added.

"Uh, we just met and all," Peter began.

"Attack!" cried a boy with pointy brown and black hair. He screeched and rammed his head into Peter, who screamed.

"Go Yugi! Raibow Spikes of Doom attack!" Tea shouted.

Yugi rolled over and ran his hair across Peter, causing his to bleed. "'Y da heck awe we doin' dis to teh peopl' Tea?" the blond kid asked.

"Because we can!" Tea answered. They laughed evilly and ran out of line. Peter was covered in blood.

"What cretins, even if they are just duelists," Sesshomaru said.

"Whatever," Inuyasha said. About 20 minutes had passed and Peter decided to annoy everyone by shouting: "Are we there yet?"

Every time he asked, someone replied with a surly "No."

Peter tried again when they were halfway to the front of the line. Sesshomaru answered "No, we are not." Peter tried again and Inuyasha just beat the stuffing out of him. Yet, when they looked up, they saw that they were there. Inuyasha and Peter stood up and Peter leaned against the stand.

"Hello, there, give us the biggest Christmas tree you have!" Peter said.

"Oh sorry, this is the charity drive, over there is the Christmas Tree Selling Place," a woman said, pointing to a line with no people in it. A little boy and his father were loading the Christmas tree.

"Wow, I can't believe we got the last Christmas tree! Now we can donate it to the homeless shelter!" the little boy said, his eyes lit with happiness.

"Yes, Timmy, this certainly has been a great father and son experience, I'm going to go to the bathroom and leave you all alone to fend off potential demons that could steal the Christmas tree!" the father said, as he put the perfect tree on top of their car.

"Should we…..?" Miroku asked.

"Maybe," Inuyasha answered.

"No way!" Kagome said. In the background, Sesshomaru was tying the child to the car and pulling the tree over his shoulder.

"Okay, I'm done," Sesshomaru said, tying the tree to the car.

The group stared blankly at the boy who was screaming and crying.

"Alrightey, let's go!" Peter called from the front seat as he honked the horn at the rest of the group.

-

"Next on our list is Christmas shopping!" Lois said as they entered the mall.

"Okay, so you have your lists, go on!" Lois said.

-

Kagome and Sango walked into Waldenbooks. They went to the manga section. There sat a group of partially insane people, giggling uncontrollably.

"Oh my Gosh, is it really you, Kagome, Sango?" one of them asked.

"Y-yes," Kagome replied.

"She must be, I know her scent!" a bespectacled girl holding a _Fake_ manga in her sweaty hands.

"One of us! One of us!" the girls began to chant.

"Kagome! I've got volume four of _Fruits Basket_," Sango said, reaching out for a book on the ground, next to a quiet looking girl. She stopped and began to pant.

"Can't be without _Fruits Basket_! You shall perish!" she shouted as she began to bite, kick and punch.

"Ah!" Sango and Kagome yelled as they ran _Fruits Basket vol. 4_ up to the cashier.

"Do you wanna pay in cash or credit?" the cashier asked, completely unmoved by the rabid fangirls running after them.

"Cash!" Kagome shouted, peering once more at the ever-closer fangirls.

"Do you a receipt?" the woman asked, not paying the fangirls any head.

"Yes!" Sango shouted.

"Do you want a bag?" the woman asked, still completely unaware of the current situation.

"Yes!" Kagome answered, as she watched the fangirls creep closer and closer.

"Do you want the receipt in the bag?" she asked.

"Yes!" The two of them answered at once. The woman handed them the bag as they ran away in fear.

-

Inuyasha was walking with Chris, just whistling along at _Every Heart_, which seemed so familiar to the half demon, he just didn't know where he had heard it. A girl walked up to Inuyasha. She was about 5'4 and had powder-blue hair that went to her waist. Also, she had a curvy body that was covered in a red skirt that went to her toes and a black shirt with a rubber ducky on it. Her eyes were sparkly and green.

"Inuyasha?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"Huh? Don't tackle me, please no!" Inuyasha pleaded. The girl stood there smiling. Inuyasha's skin was crawling.

"I won't tackle you," she began.

"What a relief," Inuyasha replied.

"I wasn't finished. See that little thing over there, with all the children and coffee starved parents trying to knock it down?" she asked in a ditsy yet dangerous voice.

"Yeah," Inuyasha answered, getting more and more uncomfortable by the second.

"Well, the Santa that was supposed to show up today cancelled, and they really want a Santa," she said in a sweet voice.

"Too bad for them, I'm leaving!" Inuyasha replied coldly.

"Oh really! Hey everyone! It's Inu-!" she began.

"All right! What do you want me to do!" Inuyasha asked.

"Be the mall Santa!" she said.

"No way, I won't be the mall Santa! I'll kill you so you can't point me out to the fangirls!" Inuyasha said maniacally. Inuyasha took a swing at the girl, only to find that his fist went through her.

"Oh Inuyasha, by the way, did Sesshomaru ever tell you about your tormentor?" she asked, while dodging attacks.

"Kagome? Why would he need to tell me about her?" he asked.

"No, the authoress!" she said.

"Your-?" Inuyasha began.

"Yes, I can do whatever I want to you and your friends."

"No way."

"Way."

"Whatever, you still can't make me be the jolly old fat man!" Inuaysha said.

"Oh, if you refuse me now, wait till you see what I make you do on Easter!" she said in a demonic voice.

"No!"

"Yes, and by the way, you're the only one who can hear or see me!"

Inuyasha looked around, people were pointing and staring at him.

"Fine! But only for an hour!" Inuyasha said.

"I'll be watching," the authoress said. (Names Liz, you already know this if you read the 5th chapter like good little boys and girls!)

Inuyasha cringed and walked up the dreaded stairs to talk to some of the people at the stand.

-

Chris, Meg, and Sesshomaru waltzed into Hot Topic. They immediately went to the anime section and looked at T-shirts. One had Sesshomaru on it, which naturally caught the full demon's eye.

"Why is there another me on this shirt?" he asked, holding the piece of clothing out to Chris.

"Oh, your famous in this realm, a lot of fangirls really love you, yet others hate you and want you to die." Chris explained.

"Kind of like back in the feudal era, only most of the people I fought weren't girls," Sesshomaru relapsed.

"Oh! Look here's one of Inuyasha," Meg called.

Sesshomaru was angry. Inuyasha's picture was _bigger_ than his picture! He punched on the T-shirt and began to beat it up! Sesshomaru was a typically calm demon, but ever since he had that meeting with the authoress, he seemed to be having a lot less luck, which resulted in an on-edge Sesshomaru.

Flashback:

"Uh Sesshomaru, I kinda ended up getting a tube of red lipstick stuck in the wash," Lois said.

"That is not my problem or my concern," Sesshomaru answered.

"Well, yeah, funny thing, uh the load that had the lipstick in it also had your fluffle in it. Sorry!" she answered.

"Lois, get out of the room!" Sesshomaru commanded.

"Why?" Lois asked.

"Because, in five seconds, I'm going to beat the living Bejesus out of the next item I come in contact with!" Sesshomaru said, turning red in the face. Lois ran for her life.

Flashback end.

Meg, Chris, and Sesshomaru were kicked out of the store.

"Thanks a lot, Sesshomaru," Meg said. She was angry because she thought that some boy from her school looked her in the eye and Sesshomaru was the cause of her social status falling even lower.

-

Miroku and Brian were walking through the parking lot outside of the mall. Miroku had been kicked out because Sango, who was buying a bikini for Meg, happened to see Miroku with his head in a barrel of panties. You can imagine the anger in Sango at that moment and the unaware joy that filled Miroku's soon to be scared mind.

The two walked along the edge of the parking lot yet again. Miroku was upset, he surprisingly felt bad for losing Sango's trust. Brian noticed this and smiled.

"You feel bad, don't you," he said.

"Yeah, I don't know why, usually I just let her slap me and then go on to do more of the "manly" behavior. But now, I don't know what to do," Miroku replied.

"Well, around Christmas time, people do usually feel bad for there sins and wish to repent," Brian answered.

"Poetic, aren't we?" Miroku said.

"Yeah, but anyway, I think I've got a solution, we can get Sango a really great gift!" Brain said.

"I don't know, I mean, Sango might not be bought over by gifts," Miroku answered.

"Yeah, but you know that necklace that she was staring at when we walked past the jewelry store, you can get that for her," Brian purposed.

"What necklace?" Miroku asked.

"You weren't watching were you?" Brian replied.

"No, I believe I was staring at Blond Maiden #4," Miroku answered.

"Whatever, lets go buy that necklace for Sango and make you look really observant and sweet!" Brian said, ducking into the mall, hoping that no one would notice a dog.

"Yeah! I'm observant!" Miroku added, not even noticing that Jaken was frozen in the van.

-

"There is no way I'm wearing this!" Inuyasha shouted at the elf attendant at the Santa Stand. Inuyasha held up a furry red suit in disgust.

"Please sir, Santa always wears it!" the elf attendant pleaded.

"Yes Santa, please," Liz, who appeared out of nowhere, said.

"Alright!" Inuyasha shouted, as he began to pull on the furry red suit.

"Thank you," Liz said, before smiling sweetly and walking off.

Inuyasha walked up and sat on the big chair, he had to lean back since he was stuffed with pillows. A little girl came up and sat on Santa's lap. She had pretty brown hair and sparkly blue eyes. The girl was grinning from ear to ear as she sat on the half demon's lap.

"What do you want for Christmas?" Inuyasha asked half-heartily. The girl's eyes twinkled for a moment as she clasped her hands together and spoke in soft tones. "I want world peace!" she said. Inuyasha's heart began to warm. That was the sweetest thing any child could ask for. "I also want a nuclear bomb that could destroy the continent of Asia, if I so wished it too!" she added. Inuyasha let the girl down as she waved goodbye to Santa. Inuyasha was in shock.

-

Lois was in the play center with Stewie, Shippo and Rin. Stewie was very skeptical about joining Shippo and Rin, who were having a blast, in the ball pit. He was very worried that the balls would turn into spikes and crush him, before he had the chance to do the same to Lois.

"C'mon Stewie! It's fun!" Rin called.

"Easy for you to say! Yes, I do believe that your legs are longer than mine, stupid!" Stewie said.

"Don't call me stupid, baka!" Rin shouted back.

"Oh, I see, using Japanese on me now are you? Well let's see you match this! Dumming! Ha! Ha! Ha! Guess what I called you, go ahead guess!" Stewie said.

"Uh, stupid?" Rin answered.

"No, no, I mean, yeah. What's wrong! How did you know that, I was talking in Norwegian! I thought my insult would surely work!" Stewie replied, flabbergasted. Rin sighed.

-

Peter was in the McDonalds, deciding what he was going to get with his Happy Meal.

"Hmmm, I could get the soda, and be happy, or I could get the low fat milk and die as an unhappy health nut. Or I could go neutral and get the chocolate milk, decisions, decisions," Peter said while rubbing his chin.

"Uh, sir, could you please move it along, we have, other customers," the cashier said. Peter paid no heed to them as he continued bantering.

"Kids next door! Attack!" a voice rang out. Ropes bound Peter helpless in midair as Numbuhs 1-5 jumped down and grinned at the helpless Peter. Peter easily broke out f his bindings and walked away, forgetting all about his McDonalds, yet the mental scaring would take years to overcome. The Kids Next Door just stood there, helpless and flabbergasted.

-

Brian and Miroku exited the jewelry store with a small bag in hand. Miroku was very happy with himself. Yet, he still gave into his lower region's reactions. A girl walked by the mall, She had long brown hair and a short skirt (in the winter, mind you), she was also walking a beautiful golden retriever that made Brian pant, as though he had run many miles. Miroku was also drooling. Not even Christmas, true love, or the shiny trinket in their bag could change the fact that Boys (and dogs) would be boys.

-

Inuyasha was not doing so well. He had only done three children and he was already ready to pick up the next one and strangle him/her. Yet he promised the authoress. Bad images popped into his mind, the images involved bunny suits and Easter eggs. Inuyasha twitched slightly as the next child climbed onto his lap. He looked decently normal.

"Hi Santa, I want jet car for Christmas!" the little boy stated.

"I don't think Santa will be able to get you that gift," Inuyasha answered.

"Well (bleep) you Santa you god(bleeeeep) mother(bleeping) (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)" the child exclaimed. Inuyasha was in even more shock now.

Another child climbed on his lap.

"Yo Santa, got some questions 'bout this whole good list bad list thing, now if I steal, does that automatically put me on the naughty list?" the child asked.

"Yeah, next!" Inuaysha called.

"But what if I stole from the people who really don't need it, or from the blind?" the kid asked.

"Yeah, you're on the bad list, buh-bye!" Inuaysha called. The kid kicked the poor half demon in the shin. It was to be a long day.

-

Lois had met most of the group in the center of the mall, where they had designated their meeting place. Everyone came except for Inuyasha.

"Where is that half demon!" Kagome shouted, looking for the tardy Inuyasha.

"We better go look for him, it's getting late," Lois said.

They all began to look. The group finally found him with a child in his lap as he Ho-Ho-Hoed.

"Awwwwwww," Kagome, Sango, Meg, and Lois said. He looked so cute in the costume, and his ears blended well with the hat.

"He's so sweet!" Meg said.

"He's so mine!" Kagome added, in a warning tone.

"No, he's mine!" Meg shouted.

"Oh yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Well then, let's see you get him when you smell like garbage!" Kagome purposed.

"Yeah! Wait, what?" Meg began. Kagome picked up the American (with many struggles) and put her in the trashcan.

"Let's go see Inuaysha, I mean Santa!" Lois suggested.

"Yeah, but I can't help feeling like we've forgotten something," Sango answered. In the background, Meg was spinning around and trying to get out of the trashcan.

-

"Ho, Ho, Ho, and what in the mortal world might you want?" Inuyasha asked the little girl that was on his lap.

"I want a dolly, and a pony, and a monkey, and a dolly-," the girl began.

"You all ready said dolly," Inuyasha interrupted.

"Shut up Santa, you fat dolt, I wasn't finished! I also want a puzzle and a toy box, can you handle that you fat piece of human waste!" she continued, in a sugary-sweet voice.

_God you remind me of the authoress!_

"Hey, Inuyasha," she whispered.

"Huh!" he replied, taken aghast by the redheaded girl in his lap.

"Oh, I believe you know my sister, Liz," she added, before jumping off his lap and wandering back to Liz, who- once again- appeared out of nowhere.

"Yeah, I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone, introduce my 5-year-old sister and get her to see Santa Claus," Liz said as she waved and disappeared.

_My god, what freaks!_

-

"Next!" Inuaysha called. Kagome climbed up.

_Kagome! _Inuyasha thought nervously.

"Hi Santa," Kagome said.

_Good, she might not know it's me,_ Inuaysha thought nervously.

"And what would you like for Christmas," Inuaysha asked.

"I want my friend Inuaysha to give me a big kiss!" Kagome whispered. Inuaysha's face flushed red.

"Inuyasha, what you're doing is so sweet!" Kagome whispered.

"It is, uh I mean, uh-," Inuyasha began to stutter.

"I'll see you later 'Santa'," Kagome replied sweetly as she waved and walked down the stairs. Inuyasha just stared ahead at the girl, still blushing slightly.

-

Later that night, after they all returned to the yellow house on Spooner Street, the group went to wrap presents. Each learned the skill it took to wrap presents. Seriousy, all the presents took forever to wrap, and each was lumpy and resembled a stool. Yet, it was the thought that counted, right? It was what went on during the wrapping ritual that was important. Like Inuyasha getting caught up in the tape and Kagome sweetly pulled the tape out of his hair. The loud SLAP that had came from Sango Miroku's newest sick fantasy involving wraping paper, tape, and the demon hunter we all know and love. Who could forget Brian, who spilt a martini all over one of Stewie's electric toys that Lois had picked out for her child?

-

It was now 11:58 at night. Stewie, Rin, and a few other people were asleep in their beds. But Kagome and Inuaysha were still downstairs, putting presents under the tree. Kagome looked at Inuyasha, who seemed uneasy and nervous, there were beads of sweat at his face. His eyes met Kagome's as they moved toward the pile of presents that were going to surround much of the area around the tree. The two stopped. Inuyasha remembered Kagome's Christmas wish. He leaned in slowly, until he was close enough to smell Kagome's candy cane scented breath. She closed her eyes and leaned in as well. The two lips joined for a second as Inuyasha wrapped his hands around Kagome's thin waist and pushing her closer, deepening the kiss even more. Kagome accepted the pushing gesture and allowed Inuyasha to pull her. Her hands traveled to Inuyasha's middle back.

Meg had to walk in at that exact moment. She at first was in total shock, then that shock transformed into a long scream that went unnoticed by the couple. She began to bang her head on tabled and ran around like a possessed person. Then, she was knocked unconscious. An act that once again went unnoticed by Inuyasha and Kagome.

The kiss seemed to go on forever. Yet forever had to end when the needs of the living prevented them from continuing. They broke the kiss for air and held each other for a few moments.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yeah, what is it Inuyasha?" Kagome replied.

"I love you," Inuyasha said, smiling a smile that had never been seen on the half demon's face before a true smile of love and happiness.

-

The next morning, everyone woke up early to see what their Santa's had brought them.

Stewie was most unhappy with his gifts. He received a toy duckie, a girlfriend for Rupert the bear, a stuffed puppy, a baby blanket, a girls thong (three guesses who got him that, I'll give you a hint: It's from a man, and it's he's not a monkey). A Rabid Raccoon (a electronic toy that twitched and spilled blood, it was on all the kid's list, and a baseball hat with his name on it, no weapons or toxic chemicals, what a lousy haul!

Shippo and Rin basically got the same stuff, except Rin got some dolls that replaced some of the other items. Shippo was most displeased because, once again, he was not a child.

Inuyasha got a couple of Shirts from Hot Topic. Some featured Gir, his favorite cartoon character, while others featured himself. This made Sesshomaru real angry. Inuyasha also received stuffed dogs and a dog calendar.

Kagome got lots of clothes from Rave and Limited Two. She was happy, since she had grown used to the typical American clothes sense. She also had gotten a key chain with her name on it. Kagome was grateful that she had received great gifts, yet Inuyasha's kiss was the best one. No wonder there was no gift from him to her.

The rest of the group opened their gifts, and most were quite pleased. Meg was upset since one of her presents was a voodoo doll of herself with the head cut off. Yet Peter, who had gotten a beer-drinking hat, was extremely happy. Their hard work had paid off. Everyone was more or less okay with what they had gotten. Sango was the last to open gifts.

Sango had also received a lot of clothes. She also received a teddy bear and figure of herself holding her boomerang.

"Oh god, I look fat!" Sango said. Another gift contained great surprises. She opened up the gift and shrieked. In her hands was a package of thongs.

"Ha, those were from me, you can keep them if you'd like, but your real present is under that," Miroku said.

Sango opened the gift and gasped. It was the beautiful necklace that she had seen in the window of the jewelry store. The gold chain was thin and fragile and in the middle sat a blue sapphire, gleaming in the artificial lights from the lamps. She gasped and placed one hand to her mouth and the other was holding the necklace and shaking. Sango was amazed and happy. She thought Miroku was pretty ignorant as men went and didn't think anyone noticed her with her nose pressed against the cold glass windows separating her from the necklace.

Sango stood up and hugged Miroku, who gently caressed her curves. She looked up at the monk. He leaned in and kissed her. Sango deepened it. The room stood still. They broke the kiss a few seconds later.

"What, no tongue?" Miroku teased. Sango giggled and blushed as she sat down.

-

The rest of the day went well. It was full of laughs, cheers, and food. Though the world can be a cold and evil place sometimes, days like this stop the world from turning to ice. Romance had blossomed and emerged. Meg was upset, since Inuyasha wasn't hers. Brian was kind of upset since Miroku never once mentioned that Brian had suggested giving her the necklace in the first place. Inuyasha felt slightly guilty since he never would have gotten his kiss if the all-powerful authoress hadn't suggested it. Yet, lots of romances are started through other people, or they may be ended. Also, Christmas had major affects on love and disposition of life. Inuyasha had done something selfless and kind, which he may not have done without the slightly malicious prodding of the authoress, but the spirit of Christmas was with him. If it wasn't, Inuyasha might be in a bunny suit in the Easter chapter. (Heck, I might just do it anyway!) So may the spirit of the holidays be with you all as we pass into this joyous time of year!

-

OMG I gave a speech! I really outdid myself with the kissing and romance, thanks to Arusgirl for the love idea. Plus, this chappie is extra long! It's like 17 pages in size 16 font! Happy Holidays my readers, reviewing would be a great present!


	7. Sango and Bikers don't mix

Inuyasha Meets Family Guy: part 7

I feel so good! I got good reviews. Tee hee! I'm pretty happy right now, since I've been officially chosen as a peer mediator for my school (look up definition on profile). As long as I go to the four 6 hour training sessions! Hooray! Start the fic!

-

In the doorway stood Quagmire. He had ringed the doorbell, hoping that Peter would go have a drink with him and the guys tomorrow. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Inuyasha standing in the doorway.

"What do you want?" Inuyasha asked.

"Oh my God, you're Inuyasha?" the shocked Quagmire stated.

"And oh my God, you're the 300th person to tell me that," Inuyasha replied, beginning to get annoyed with the whole "Oh my God, its Inuaysha" thing.

Flashback:

Inuyasha is at a random auction and the announcer looks into the ground and sees the infamous ears of our favorite half demon.

"Oh my God, its Inuyasha, at my auction. Get up here!" he said. Everyone cheered as they carried the struggling and confused Inuyasha to the stage. The announcer man shakes his hand. He then grabs the Tetsusaiga. Inuyasha cries out "That's mine!" he shouted before he was carted offstage.

"What can I hear for this beautiful REAL Tetsusaiga? Do I hear 50, 50?" the announcer asked. Inuyasha was still shouting.

"I'll give you 30 cents!" a woman offered.

"All right, 30 cents it is!" the announcer said.

Flashback end,

Flashback two:

Inuyasha was in a crowd of people. The president was going to give a speech.

"People of the… Oh my God! It's Inuyasha!" the president stated. He jumped on top of the poor half demon and began to pull his ears and smother him with love. The American people backed away slowly as thousands of people were laughing in the privacy of there own homes.

Flashbacks end.

-

Peter walked to the door and said hello to Quagmire.

"Hey Peter, if Inuyasha's here, then Kagome and Sango are here too, right?" Quagmire asked.

"Well, I think I can trust you not to do something perverted, so yes they are here!" Peter said.

"Alright, giggdy, giggdy giggdy goo!" Quagmire said. He made his way into the house to find Sango, Kagome, and disappointment. Kagome was not wearing her wonderfully sexy schoolgirl outfit. In fact, she was wearing pajama bottoms and a long T-shirt. Sango was not wearing her equally sexy fighting outfit. She was wearing a loose nightgown that didn't even go above her knees.

"Uh…Hi?" Kagome asked.

"God this stinks, I'm going to rent a mature movie!" Quagmire said.

"'Kay, that was weird," Sango said.

"Hey, wanna make out?" Kagome asked.

"Sure," Sango answered, to the pleasure of Miroku, who had been hiding behind the couch. (Gotta apologize for this one. If there is ever a time to say I'm sorry, its now)

-

"Oh, Peter, tomorrow we're going to the Drunken Clam, you in?" Quagmire asked.

"Sure, should I bring Inuyasha and the others?" Peter answered.

"That sounds fun, by the way, are they all over 18?" Quagmire asked out of "curiosity".

"Who cares, they're anime characters!" Peter said.

"All right!" Shigure and Ayame from Fruits Basket said as they gave each other a thumbs-up.

-

The next night, the group all piled into the van. It was just the guys, and the girls were squished in the trunk. (I'm mean; I feel horrible –sniffle, sniffle-). When they reached the bar with the sign reading The Drunken Clam, they all clambered out. While the rest of the group entered, Kagome and Sango were beating the everlasting daylights out of Inuyasha and Miroku, since they had said nothing in protest when the girls were shoved in the trunk.

Before they entered the bar, they gave their Anime Character ID cards to the dude making sure no underage children tried to sneak in. Yet the Charlie Brown characters sneaking into the bar with mustaches and long trench coats didn't fool him.

Inside the bar, people were staring at the anime characters. With all their big detailed eyes and there perfect little bodies. Grrrrrr!

"What will it be?" Sam asked.

"Uh, just get us a round of beer," Peter said.

"So uh, Miroku you like woman too?" Quagmire asked the monk.

"Yeah, woman are nice, I also like to polka dance," Miroku answered.

"Ew…Polka dance," Peter said. (No offense to polka dancers though…)

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Miroku said, with a slight look of disappointment.

"So, what's it like fighting demons?" Joe asked.

"Uh… it's exciting but a little scary,' Sango said.

"Any paraplegics in the show?" Joe continued.

"I don't remember, but if there were they weren't the main characters," Kagome said, unaware of how Joe was glaring at the anime characters.

-

When the beers came, the group began to drink cautiously. Inuyasha slightly liked the taste of the beer; it gave him a pleasant buzz. Kagome didn't really like it, since the taste was a bit strong for her liking. Sesshomaru gagged on it, the taste was appalling to his taste buds. Yet, Sango and Miroku loved it! Miroku drank it down quite quickly, while Sango gulped it even faster.

"You're really putting away that beer, Sango," Cleveland said, after she ordered another alcoholic drink, this time it was red wine.

"You-You've got a… a nice little booty there Joe," Sango drunkenly proclaimed, swaying from side to side her hair sticking up wildly.

"Er…Thanks?" Joe answered.

"Oh Sango you pervert! I'll clean the air of your nasty language! Away! Away foul demon words!" Miroku-what a surprise- said as he jumped up onto the table and began to brush away the "word demons". Yes, the monk was stared at for about a quarter of a second, then they all got bored.

"Oh, Miroku, you babe! Might you wanna go out to the-the van?" Sango asked as her head flopped back and forth violently.

"No! No way, get away from me you lecherous mon- I mean demon slayer!" Miroku said, before staggering a bit too. Yet no one was as drunk as Sango, who looked almost harassed.

-

Later that evening, everyone was quite drunk (Even Sesshomaru and Kagome who found drinks that they enjyed). They each were getting tired and Joe (the least wasted one of the lot) decided to call a few cabs. Yet, Sango was over by the pool table, staring dreamily at a tall, muscular man with many tattoos on his body. Their eyes met. She began to make herself "desirable". The man's eyes widened in shock and delight.

"Hey, how about coming to my apartment?" the man asked.

Now Sango was extremely unaware of what was going on and had no sense of good judgement at all, so of course she said yes. The man smirked and took her hand.

"B-Bye guys see you-you-you later!" Sango said as the two speeded past the rest of the group.

"Uh…Peter, should we do something?" Brian asked, and everyone _knows_ what the effect of this action of Sango's is. (Being perfectly clear…?)

"No…There comes a time in every girl's life when she must face a man with many tattoos and Sango is having hers," the enigmatic Peter said.

"Where do you come up with these things?" Brian asked, before grabbing another martini, not bothering to deal with the current situation where Joe was not currently involved in.

-

**The Next Morning…**

Sango awoke in a daze. Her head was aching and she felt very sick. Where was she? What had she done last night? Why was she wearing a towel? As she attempted to recall her memory, she sat up. The pain rushed to her head once more and she quickly laid back down again. A few hours later, the man she had met last night entered the room.

Before she knew it, she was looking into the dull eyes of a muscular man. It all came back to her. Now he was going to begin round two…oh boy.

"So Sango, ready for round two?" he asked.

"I think so," Sango answered.

"Okay, so which border do you think would go best with the room?" he asked as he held out two sample pieces of border.

"I don't know, it was hard enough to choose the paint color for your new living room," Sango admitted. (How clear was I, I mean how many of you didn't know that all bikers love redecorating. Come on.)

"Which, by the way, was a fabulous choice. The lavender will really accent the rose lighting system," he said, smiling at the female demon slayer.

"Hmmm, I guess the checker pattern. The pink and white will go nicely," Sango said.

"So, what did I tell you about the nightgown? Isn't it awesome!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, it is really comfortable, I slept perfectly and the straps didn't bother me at all! Though I admit I thought it was a towel at first," Sango said, a slight blush forming on her cheeks. She played with one of the tiny straps.

"So, do you need a ride home?" he asked.

"Sure," Sango answered.

-

**Later That Day…**

Peter, Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, and Brian all were up and about. Their hangovers had subsided a little while ago.

"So, what should we do about Sango?" Inuyasha asked.

"I don't know, maybe Brian could sniff her out," Peter suggested.

"No way. No. No," Brian said, lighting one of his cigarettes.

"You know, maybe she'll pull up with that dude that she left with and she'll just pop right in, like nothing at all happened," Kagome said. Everyone stared at her.

"No way, that only happens in fanfiction written by an insane, overcautious, apologetic, too-kind-for-her-own-good, evil authoresses," Inuyasha said. "And besides, we don't know anyone like that."

The group then heard a car pull up. They all stood up and looked out the window where a large truck sat in their driveway.

"Thanks for the ride!" Sango said as she jumped from the passenger's seat. She waved as she walked towards the house. "Call me again when you go back to IKEA! I can help you buy furniture!" The car pulled out of the driveway and drove away.

"Huh?" Miroku said as he ran outside.

"Oh hi Miroku! I had a wonderful night! That biker looking dude wanted some opinions on his living room. He was in the middle of redecorating!" Sago declared. Miroku sweatdropped, as Sango ran inside to tell everyone about her night out. Brian walked up to Miroku and smoked his already lit cigarette.

"So, you where worried?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, I mean Sango's more than just a great butt. I mean she has an awesome face too. Even better are those legs of hers! And she has a perfect ten bust too!" Miroku rambled.

"You are hopeless," Brian said as he dropped his cigarette butt to the ground and stepped on it. He then headed inside.

**A** Week Later…

"I still can't believe how lucky you are. Most people in that situation would have been…you know…" Lois said.

"Yeah, I know. But he was still so nice, I mean nothing bad happened. At least, I don't remember anything bad happening," Sango answered. Miroku came downstairs with a rolled magazine tucked under his arm. His expression was worried and his lips were pulled into a frown.

"Hey Sango, could you come here for a second," Miroku asked, taking Sango's hand and pulling her towards the hallway. Stewie was slowly climbing up the wall, testing his suction cup feet thing.

"Hey Sango, are you sure that the man didn't do anything to you?" Miroku asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," Sango replied.

"Well then, why are you on the centerfold of this weeks PlayAnimeBoy?" Miroku asked, opening the magazine to reveal a three-page picture of a naked Sango. Stewie fell from the ceiling, yet the other two were too shocked to care. Sango was fuming. Miroku was scared.

"That dirty son of moogle!" Sango shouted. Her voice rang past the living room; where it broke the TV that Peter was watching _Kiss Saves Christmas_ on. The poor man wept. It rang past California; where the state broke off the hunk of land called the United States. Sango's voice rang past Japan, where Kagome's class was taking a test. It reminded Hojo to buy Kagome ear plugs. The high-pitched scream reached through the Bone-Eaters Well and was heard by Kohaku, who fell off the tree he had been sitting in.

"What was that?" Kohaku asked himself, a sense of fear flowing through the not-ninja.

**Back at the Griffen household…**

"Oh well, at least we have learned something today," Miroku announced.

"Yeah? And what might that be?" Sango asked, panting and glaring at the monk.

"That a drunk Sango and a camera are essential for pleasuring the men of this world!" Miroku answered. "What? What did I say?"

A loud slap followed upon contact with Sango's hand to Miroku's face.

-

I know this chapter was kind of short. But I'm going to announce an offer! I wanna get to know my reviewers better, so I'm holding a forum so that you the reviewers can tell about why you like this story, ask me any questions you like, and can just chat. I'm curious about why you all like this story, I frankly thought (when I posted this story) that no one was going to like it!


	8. Miroku and Quagmires Night of Fun

_Inuyasha Meets Family Guy: part 8_

I am so sorry once again for not updating. Here is my lame excuse list this round! 1. Project for social Studies. 2. My birthday was on the 11th and of course I was very busy, I had peer mediation training from 9-3, then altar serving from 5-6, finally I went out to dinner with my family. You're about to kill me, aren't you? But I have good news; I have made a blog! (happy music). There you can get alternate chapter titles, what's to come, and info about emotionalanime and Liz, the evil authoress we all know and love! Let'' just start this fic!

-

Quagmire had been coming over to the Griffen house a lot lately. He sometimes came to dinner (making sure he sat between Kagome and Sango, much to Miroku and Inuyasha's dismay). Quagmire often came over just to hang out and show Peter and Miroku his new Playanimeboy, (much to the two's pleasure). But tonight, he knocking softly on the living room window, where Miroku was sleeping that night. Quagmire knocked a bit more urgently this time. The monk stirred, slowly siting up as he yawned. When his vision finally kicked in, he saw Quagmire.

"Quagmire, what are you doing here it's…" Miroku began, checking the luminous alarm on a nearby table. "1 in the morning."

"I know, but I was wondering if you wanted to go on a little night of fun?" Quagmire asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Don't you mean morning?" Miroku replied.

"Morning, whatever, you coming?" Quagmire asked.

"Sure," Miroku answered, standing up and throwing his robe over him. Quagmire giggled at the impending excitement, for he had planned three great places to visit on this night of excitement.

-

The two climbed into Quagmire's car, which was filled with woman in the nude, in glossy print of course, blow dolls, and woman's bras and panties.

"Where are we going?" Miroku asked, while flipping through a playanimeboy.

"To a magical place, Harry," someone said from the back seat. It was Dumbledorr and Harry Potter sitting in the back seat, ducking to not be seen, which failed.

"Who are you people?" Miroku asked.

"Not again, get the heck out you freaks!" Quagmire shouted, before hitting the two wizards over the head with a magazine that displayed a woman in lingerie giving a sexy look at the reader. The two shouted as the two disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Dang wizards," Quagmire said, as he began to drive.

When they arrived at their destination, the two got out of the car and headed toward a building.

"Where are we?" Miroku asked. Quagmire pointed at a sign. The sign displayed the words 'You are at the pool, your very stupid if you can't see this sign, don't ask something as moronic as 'where are we."

"Oh."

-

The two men made their way to the front desk, where a secretary sat at her desk. She was a tall woman and her bosom was quite large as well. "Can I help you gentlemen?" she asked in a demanding tone.

"Uh yeah, could you tell us how much it costs to get into the midnight swim?" Quagmire asked.

"It costs 2 dollars and your friend's phone number," she said.

"My what?" Miroku asked, taken aghast by the woman's strange request.

"Your phone number," she said again.

"Oh, I see what you're getting at, call me anytime, sweetie," Miroku replied, winking at the secretary.

"Uh, I need your phone number for the membership form," the secretary said, pushing some papers toward the monk, who whimpered at the cruelty of it all.

-

Miroku and Quagmire stood in the men's locker room preparing for their midnight swimming adventure. Miroku was getting dressed and Quagmire was reading in interest what looked like the _Wall Street Journal_. Miroku walked over and asked him why he was reading such a stuffy, formal magazine.

"Oh, I'm looking at this article that states the tax options available to Americans," Quagmire said. Miroku twitched and screamed. His friend was supposed to be cool and against anyhting that didn't have any particular value to their "needs".

"Hey, Miroku does this chick look all sexy librarian-ish?" Quagmire asked.

"Yeah, you're right." Phew, Quagmire hasn't gone corporal on Miroku.

"You coming to the pool?" asked Miroku.

"Uh, yeah, hang on. Meet you out there," Quagmire said.

"Alright."

"Oh corporal world, how I love thee!" said Quagmire in pure bliss. AN: I have just scared you all, haven't I?

-

When the two men made there way to the pool, they were amazed. Beautiful woman everywhere! They were all wearing beautiful swimsuits that hugged them tightly.

_Heavenly bliss_, the two men thought. They climbed into the pool and waded about three feet, to a group of woman who were splashing each other.

"Uh… Hi there, can we play too?" Quagmire asked.

"hfkjgi,lqe.igslf?" the woman asked in a language different from their own.

"Uh… excuse me?" Miroku asked.

"Ahghweob;lcjbo?" she asked again, a slight agitation in her voice.

"I know what language she's speaking! She's speaking Nowagerman!" Quagmire proclaimed, sticking an exclamatory finger into the air.

"What the heck kinda sugar-induced illness is that?" asked Miroku with a slightly nervous look on his face.

"It's not an illness! It's a language! A language of love!" Quagmire said.

"It's an expression!" another man added.

"It's sexy cool!" another person yelled.

"Dude, no one says sexy cool anymore!"

"Yeah, get outta our pool!"

"I was just trying to have fun!" the man protested, yet he quickly got out of the pool when they prepared to fire their inner tubes at the uncool man.

"So anyway, I know one saying in Norwagerman," Quagmire said. "fjigheigheiw, cqhiw, weowu iiwhf tiog?" he said to the woman. (Translation: your mother is a fat piece of by-product cheese)

The woman slapped him across the face and ran off crying.

"What, all I asked was if we could all play marco polo, but I guess where she comes from, that's a sin," suggested Quagmire.

The next minute, the girl appeared at the side of the pool with a giant chicken. The chicken gave Quagmire a glare and motioned for him to come out.

"Did you call my girlfriends mother a fat piece of by-product cheese?" he asked, waving a fist in the two men's direction.

"N-no, I just asked if we could play marco polo!" Quagmire defended. The woman shook her head and started crying again.

The chicken jumped on top Quagmire, who could do nothing in resistance. The3 chicken punched, kicked, and pecked the everlasting heck out of the perverted man. Blood slowly rose to the top of the pool.

"sjfhoivjgfkdgjdj!" the woman said.

"fheifge, hpwdw," the chicken said as he got off of Quagmire. "Well, looks like I have to go, Fufhjw, here doesn't want you to die, no matter what you said about her mother," said the chicken.

"Th-Thank you!" Said Quagmire, through chipped, and broken teeth.

"What did you say!" the chicken said, before leaping once more onto unsuspecting- and very sorry man.

-

After Quagmire's wounds healed in a cartoon sort of way, Miroku and Quagmire tried- yet again, to find a group of woman that would play Marco Polo with them. So they made their way up to a group of woman, who they thought would have the biggest busts.

"Hello ladies, would you do us the honor of letting us play Marco Polo with you?" Miroku asked.

"Sure," one of them said before turning around. Quagmire and Miroku gasped. This was no woman! This was a cross dresser! The man was in a purple 1-piece bathing suit that was very tight- disgustingly tight… if you know what I mean. The man had many a muscle that of which were used to pick up Miroku and hold the monk above his long, brown-haired head.

"Ah!" said Miroku.

"Oh my you're a cutie!" said the man. Escape was impossible. They were forced to play a quick game of Marco Polo before high tailing it out to the car, not bothering to change into their regular, dry clothes.

-

"That was scary, but at least it's over now,"Quagmire said, rubbing his temples and tried to remove the scarring that had received that night.

"Oh well, where are we going next?" Miroku asked.

"We are going to my friend's secret underground store!"

"Why is it a secret?" questioned Miroku.

"Because my friend's a geek and he thought it sounded cooler that regular underground store!" Quagmire answered.

-

When the two pulled up they saw nothing but a normal looking house, the exception being the Star Wars lawn gnomes. They parked the car and made their way up to the door. Quagmire sighed and began a special knock. A man of approximately 20 years came out. He was tall and thin as a rail. On his black shirt the words MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU! Displayed in annoyingly bold letters. His face was covered in little red zits and his hair was greasy and brown.

"Sup Quagmire!" he said, making the "we come in peace" sign (or whatever the moogle it's called!)

"Oh hi," Quagmire said halfheartedly.

"OMG it's Miroku!" he said jumping on the monk who let out a yelp.

"You're an inspiration to perverts everywhere!" he said.

"Glad that I inspired you," said Miroku from under the man.

"Uh, listen Bob-," Quagmire began before being cut off by the man who had been on top of Miroku only a moment ago.

"The name is Luke Skywalker! And my dog is R2D2!" Bob answered as a dog in a metal suit came to his feet.

"Wow, he sure looks… tough," said miroku, glancing once more at the dog that was now lying on his stomach, trying to shed the metal suit.

"Come on in!" said Bob, or Luke Skywalker. The two followed. "So any particular item your looking for? Maybe an action figure or a talking Yoda plush?"

In the corner Yoda just stood there until the figure suddenly said "Yo."

"Uh, why don't you just take my friend and to the closet?" asked Quagmire. Miroku gulped, he did not know what this "closet" thing was. He hoped it didn't involve… you know, mutant penguins and all that.

-

When they entered the closet, Miroku was in heaven. All around him were woman! Beautiful naked woman! All cardboard or shiny, glossy paper! Miroku gasped and glanced around the room with hot intensity. He began to feel a love like he never had before for any life-sized naked woman before! Quagmire was already picking out a few pieces to add to his wonderful collection.

"Hey, look up. I got some new pieces of a very wonderful young woman," Bob/Luke Skywalker said.

"Come on you don't say wonderful young woman! You say sexy, hot bi-," but Miroku wasn't listening to Quagmire's complaint, as he was looking at the ceiling and what he saw amazed and shocked him… on the ceiling was Sango, in the nude.

"Uh hey, how much would it be to buy all of the merchandize regarding the woman on the ceiling?" asked Miroku.

"Well, I've got posters, magazines, mugs, umbrellas, and alarm clocks," said Bob.

"How much would it cost all together?" asked Miroku; Sango would kill him if she found out that he didn't show her ALL of it.

"About six hundred dollars! Which is more than I make in a month! My mom will be so proud of me!" Bob said.

"I'll be proud of you when you bring home a wife and six children!" his mother called from the kitchen. Miroku gave Quagmire a cute little chibi look.

"No. No way. No!" said Quagmire, throwing his hands up in defense from the horrid cuteness that was always effective.

Flashbacks:

Sango saw a purse that she really wanted, but a look at the price tag told her that she couldn't have it. So instead of exercising self-discipline and not buying the purse until she got a job, she went up to the nearest guy. She batted her eyelashes and made the renowned chibi face. The man quickly bought her the purse… and a ring, and a car. But before he could return with an 'I love you, cute little chibi of my heart', Sango was gone, purse in hand.

End Flashback

Flashback 2

Sesshomaru was at a baseball game when the ball flew into the stands. Sesshomaru tried to catch the ball when the man behind him caught it. Sesshomaru turned around to threaten the man into giving the baseball to him, when he noticed that this man was HUGE! He was a cross between a body builder and a biker.

"Do you want something, little man?" the man asked. Sesshomaru did his cute little chibi face.

"Aw…," the man began, before being sliced into bits by Sesshomaru's Tensaiga. Sesshomaru scowled as he sat back down, victory in his heart contrasting the scowl.

Flashback 2 end

"I don't know why I fell for that!" said Quagmire, in a slight fit of rage, as the two began to drive to their next destination.

When they arrived, they were in front of a very large building that displayed the words 'GYM' in bold letters on a sign.

"Why are we here?" asked Miroku.

"Stupid! There are hot chicks here! Hot chicks means hot chicks in dressing rooms too!" said Quagmire, slapping his forehead in disappointment of the monk. He sighed as he dragged Miroku in behind him.

-

The two had signed in under Quagmire's name. The gym was a wonderful fitness center with health classes, seven exercise rooms, and a large running court. Yet the two men were not in any of these fine areas, as they were in the air vents that were above the locker rooms. The two barely fit in the narrow passageway.

"Hey, couldn't we just sneak into the locker rooms dressed as girls or something cliché like that?" asked Miroku.

"No, I've done this before!" said Quagmire. Miroku looks toward the camera and frown, the in-studio audience laughs as Miroku shakes his head and sighs.

"Let's go, this is it!" Quagmire said as he pulled out a screwdriver and loosened the screws on the large metal tile. "Down I go! Follow me Miroku!"

"Okay!" said Miroku, his excitement was hard to contain.

The two fell down into the locker room. What They saw was not a bunch of naked woman who had been peacefully changing and showering until the two men barged in, instead they saw a bunch of naked men, some of which wearing towels, others were wearing nothing at all. The men gave them a very cheery look and paid them no mind. However, Miroku and Quagmire were twitching as they struggled to climb back into the air vent. When they were finally up, one very strong looking man said to a another muscled man "Did I just see two puny guys fall from the air vent?"

"No, it must just be the steroids talking," the second man replied.

"I didn't know that steroids gave you hallucinations," the first man said.

"Neither did I."

-

Once the two men in the air vent stopped gasping for breath and release from their state of mental scaritude, they tried once more to get into the woman's locker room. Success! They saw woman! The two fell once more into the locker room. Woman's shouts were heard as they gathered around the two men.

"Wow! This is better than that dream! And that was a super-bonafide dream!" said Quagmire.

"Wait! Quagmire, you said you've done this before!" said Miroku as the woman drew nearer.

"Yeah…. Wait I didn't mention I got caught soon after?" answered Quagmire.

"No!"

"Uh-Oh, But I have done this in a dream before!" said Quagmire.

Begin Dream:

Quagmire fell into the locker room. All around were woman with their faces down by their supple, bare busts. Quagmire was in heaven, which would also explain why the locker room was filled with beautiful fruits, flowers, and trees with wonderful foliage. Quagmire went up to one of the woman. He slowly moved his hand toward her bust. She sat up and exclaimed, "My face is down here!" Then three angels came down and removed him from his own personal heaven.

End Dream.

"Aw no, I got caught in my dream too!" said Quagmire.

"Stop living in a fantasy world of regret and forgetfulness and run!" shouted Miroku, dragging his companion by the collar. They passed a woman at the desk that was talking to security about to "Peeping Tom's". She waved to the two as they ran out the door.

The two made their way out to the parking lot and did not stop breathing heavily until Quagmire started the ignition.

"Dude, we made it out just in time, how cliché is that?" asked Miroku.

"Very. But at least nothing bad happened-," Quagmire began. Before he could finish his statement of gratitude, Harry Potter and Lord Voldermort jumped onto their car and began to fight for the fate of the wizarding world. After two moments of shock and violent wizard confrontation, Quagmire came to his senses and threw two Sango mugs at the two wizards, who were hit square in the nose. They ran off. "I learned that on the discovery channel. Remember boys and girl, if your ever close to two dangerous wizards who are battling for the fate of the world, just hit them in the nose with a hard, plastic object. Preferably a mug with a naked anime character on it," said Quagmire.

"Let's just go!" said Miroku. With that, the two drove home.

-

When Miroku landed on the couch, he was on top of Peter, who like him had a long night out. Miroku passed out on top of Peter, who was in an alcohol-related snooze. Miroku would never forget that night, or the next morning either, when Sango saw the two men sleeping on the couch in a not-so-pure position. But then again, she never did find out about the Sango merchandize or Miroku and Quagmire's night of fun. So for now anyway, everything was a good as it was going to get.

-

All right, this chapter of IMFG is complete. I'm very sorry that I can't answer any of your Private Messages, but I just haven't had the time. But new fanfiction is coming up and I'm going to try to be better with my posting, but I did a 3,182 word chapter and that takes a lot out of me (let's go with that!). So I'll try to get emotionalanime of her lazy studying butt and type this thing out! bye-bye for now and REVIEW!

Ps: thanks to Kincaid (sorry, my Internet is being stupid and I can't get to my review page, so I can't really remember what your name was. You can beat my master, emotionalanime with a lead pipe if you'd like) for the ideas! I owe you my life!


	9. Sesshie on TV: the angsty story!

_Inuyasha Meets Family Guy: part 9_

AN: Sesshy is going to be _really _OoC. I'm sorry, but on artistic grounds, I must make our favorite demon a big, weeping girl. I'm so sorry, but it has to be this way, for Sesshomaru comes to term with his deep side of body hatred as he chokes down diet pills. I'm sorry, stone me if you wish.

-

The weather was beautiful for the Inuyasha and Family Guy crew. The sun was shining, the birds were signing sweet melodies, and there was not a hint of pollution in the air. Of course, our friend Sesshomaru was facing this atmosphere with a sour expression and crossed arms. He grumbled, for it was 9 am and he did not feel like being awakened by sunlight peering through the blinds as he desperately tried to hold on the sleep that only moments ago, had consumed him in another reality and false comfort. Sesshomaru stood up and glanced at the door, which opened, almost like he had called the being into the room.

Peter Griffin was the being who had bust in. The man was dressed and ready for the day, with a smile plastered on his face like it had been attached by Super Glue.

"Sesshomaru, were going to the mall, wanna come?" the man asked, ignorant of the sleepy expression and scowl that showed no bounds.

"No, I don't want too. No, never again burst into my room you barbari-," the silver haired demon began, before being pulled by the arm by the over weight man.

"Great! Let's go!" shouted Peter, not hearing the words of protest that came from the demon. Sesshomaru could easily have broken free and killed the man, yet he decided to refrain, for he was too lazy and decided that it was not worth it, he was basically on vacation.

The next minute or so, everyone was in the car waiting for Peter to start driving. Meg, who was currently next to Sesshomaru looked into the demons sleepy eyes.

"Sesshomaru, you look tired," said Meg.

"I _AM _tired, how long did it take you to figure that out!" Sesshomaru shouted at the girl, who backed away into Inuyasha's arms, much to the dismay of Kagome, who in turn slapped Meg.

"Sesshomaru, you really should control your anger, you know what happened to those movie stars who beet up cameramen," said Lois calling to mind an incident that landed Lindsey Lohan in the Insane Asylum. Apparently she had gotten so paranoid over cameras that she shouted and hissed at a child who had a play toy camera. The boy just kept playing as a white van with the words Happy Hotel, Formally the Funny Farm: if you or someone you love is insane, paranoid, or freakishly dangerous to society, call us at 1-800-I-M-CRAZY rolled up and took the insane star away. The children cheered!

"Whatever," the demon said, glancing out the window to watch the landscape and pollution move abstractly by.

When the group got to the mall they all formed groups. Of course, Sesshomaru had no say; he just let himself get lumped in with any group. The group he was in this time included Chris, Meg, and Stewie. Sesshomaru scowled, wondering what cruel sick fate forced him to be in this crude world?

As they wandered along, they saw a group of teenagers gathered around a shop window. A neon title showed above the store. It read '2 Cool 4 U'. Everyone knew the name of that store. It was a legend, with their amazingly sexy employees, their complementary lemonade for those who donated to there 'Charity 2 buy more junk' designer can, and of course their designer labels with their horrendously high prices. They even made people pay to glance at the items. Meg was so proud of the fact that she once got to glance at a pair of socks that were on clearance.

However pricey the store was, they were allowing many people, mostly girls, up to three feet from the window. A security guard with a mop was ready to fend off anyone that was a danger to the store. The group fended their way through the crowd to what seemed to be a flyer on the shop's window.

_Do You Want to Act?_

_Of course you do, you're a teenager. You would love to have your 15 seconds of fame, wouldn't you? Come to me…. And bring 300 dollars….. right now. _

"Well that's vague," said Stewie. Suddenly a man in an expensive looking suit came out of the shop for the rich. He snapped his fingers and up came two men, one with a chair and another with a Pop-tart. The man sat in the chair as he began to eat the Pop-tart. After three sophisticated chews, he spit the toasted pastry out and onto the floor.

"I said I wanted cinnamon, and this is extra cinnamon! It doesn't work!" he shouted. Another Pop-tart was put in its place.

"Now, do any of you blokes have the 300 dollars I asked for. Many people held up wallets or checks, one person even held up an expensive looking poodle, much to the dismay of the pink dog. Meg, Chris, and even Stewie were looking in their pockets. Sesshomaru stood there with a devil-may-care expression.

"Now line up!" the man said, his British accent ringing throughout the room. People from every age group lined up. The man walked past each one and asked them why they wanted to act.

One girl blushed and said "Well, like, I dropped out of high school so I could, like get an acting job. Then I like couldn't find one so I like had to live with my parents. So I, like want to get money and be rich and famous and have a really hot movie star boyfriend and then become a like pop idol!"

Little did she know that the man in the expensive velour suit was already talking to the next person.

"So, why do you want act," the man asked.

"I want to be considered hip and fresh for the children so that they may come and play Monopoly with me and then we can swing," the pedophile old man asked.

"Okay.. Don't call us, we'll call you," the man first man said.

Finally, it was Meg's turn. She was giggling, blushing, and chanting 'oh my god, oh my god!'

"I can't tell your gender, NEXT!" the man said. Meg burst into tears and ran off. He moved on to Chris.

"Lay off the Twinkies and come back in five years!"

"Okay!"

He stared off into the distance. He then spotted Sesshomaru, who was staring off in the distance, indifferent to the world.

"He's perfect!" he shouted. As Sesshomaru began to walk away, the short man ran after the demon.

"Hey, didn't you want to try out for the acting role?" asked the man.

"No," Sesshomaru answered as he continued walking away.

"Well, uh, you would be perfect for this role in a commercial. You'd get fame, fortune, and a lifetime supply of Loofas!" said the man, noticing the Loofa man on the demons black T-shirt.

"A- a lifetime supply of loofas?" Sesshomaru repeated. He imagined what he could do with all the loofas.

Enter loofa-filled Fantasy:

Sesshomaru and the loofa at the park, bisecting bugs, getting drinks at the water fountain and squirting the water into peoples' faces, and going on the swings. Suddenly, the man entered the fantasy and asked "Well, are you in?"

Sesshomaru was now not as sure. He loved the loofas, but did he want to become a Hollywood star? The pressure, the limelight, the prospect of leaving his newfound friends and family. Wait, Sesshoamru hated all of those people to who he was aquatinted with.

"I'll do it! Oh please, I'll pay you and everything, just get me away from those freaks!" Sesshomaru cried.

"Okay, but we're paying you!" the man said. "Name's Mason by the way, what's yours?"

"Sesshomaru," the demon replied.

"Well, Sesshomaru, this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership!" Mason said, clapping an arm around Sessomaru's shoulders. The two walked off into the sunset, while the other members of the group were left behind to gawk.

-

A few hours later, Sesshomaru was sitting in the lobby of a very large building. The windows were spotless and large, the size of the walls they were surrounded by. He leaned against the wall and waited for Mason to return from his office. The demon had been waiting a very long time, but he needn't wait any longer, for Mason returned, and in his hands was a large scroll of paper, with the words CONTRACT spilled across the top.

"Sesshomaru, baby, we just want you to sign this little… license if you will," he said, handing him the scroll and the infamous feather quill.

"Uh, I've seen this on TV before, it never works!" said Sesshomaru.

"But think of the loofas!" Mason begged.

"Alright, I'll do it! I'll do it for the loofas!" Sesshomaru declared quite Out of character-like.

"Great, sign here, here, here, initial here – no not there- here, and here!" Mason replied, holding out the contract for the demon to sign.

"Okay, so now I'm going to be famous?" asked Sesshomaru.

"Yes, yes you will, so come dressed your best!" he said.

Next Morning at the Agency… 

"I said to come dressed your best, not in your best dress!" shouted Mason, who stared in shame at Sesshomaru. The demon misinterpreted what Mason had said, and borrowed one of Lois's evening gowns and leather boots.

"Alright, the other people in the commercial will be here in an hour, so what can I do …" Mason trailed off.

Outside, they heard the voice of a rich British man.

"Oh, I shall just leave these wonderful _jeans_ and _T-shirts _outside in front of this talent agency. It's funny, they are exactly the right size for a 900 year old demon who entered this world because his human companion wanted to pet a random ducky," he said, walking away with a hearty laugh.

"You thinking ……" said Mason, smirking at the demon.

"Yeah," answered Seshhomaru.

The two ran outside and ignored the British man's charitable donation of clothing and ran up to a man that was at least a foot and a half shorter than Sesshomaru. They hit the man in the head several times, then ripped off his clothes, which were a surprising pink tank top and short jean shorts. The "man" was a woman.

"Oh well," Mason said, as they carried the clothes inside for the demon to clothe himself with.

**1hour later**

Mason's office was bustling with people. Actors, actresses, make up artists, agents, security guards, and even a hobo stealing food from a table. Yes, the actors had arrived.

The women in the group were small and thin. Their tweedy figures barely covered with revealing clothing. On their faces were awkward looks that were pointed at Sesshomaru.

The men in the room shared the same glances, for they had never seen a man with long white hair, "paint" on his face, and wearing a tight a pink tank top and shorts.

"Okay, so now that we all know our roles, study your scripts and come back in three days to perform!" Mason said to the group of people. Everyone stood up and filed out of the room. Sesshomaru was the last.

As he walked down the dark hallways, he seemed to think that someone was following him. Naturally, such things didn't bother the demon, for he had seen worse. However he was wary, since he didn't want to be caught off guard, especially without his Tensaiga or Fluffle.

Suddenly, a figure approached! Sesshomaru lashed out, in a weird mix of karate and rape escapes. His attacker lay of the ground, holding his shin and sucking on his index finger.

"Jeez, man Ow!" he cried.

"Who are you!" Sesshomaru demanded, pointing a loofa at the man.

"That's not important! Now, this is gonna be a changing day in your life-,"

"Dr. Phill! I should have known!" Sesshomaru cried, cutting the man off. Of course, while attempting to cut the man's outstreched arm off

"No, stupid, don't you see that I have an Italian accent!" he said.

"The Godfather? Die!" Sesshomaru shouted, raising a fist over his head.

"No stupid! Just listen. I've got a gift for you. See, you ain't gonna get a good career as an actor unless you lose a bit of weight!" the man said.

"What! I'm not fat!" Sesshomaru shouted, offense ringing through his voice. Yes, Sesshomaru fell into the trap of body hatred at that very moment.

"Just take these," the man said, before disappearing into the darkness of the non-illuminated hallway. The demon stared blankly at the bottle labeled 'DIET PILLS' that currently lie at his feet.

The Gym 

"Okay Sesshomaru, now it's important to start the treadmill slowly, can't have you- Hey what are you doing!"

Sesshomaru decided to get a workout at the gym and by 'workout' he meant total body fitness in an hour. So naturally, the treadmill was up to 30 miles an hour (I don't think treadmills can go that high) while the incline was at 14.

"Hey! Stop, you're going to get hurt and you're gonna have a bad time," his personal trainer said.

"Shut up!" Sesshomaru growled as he ran as fast as he could.

Later, Sesshomaru got on the weight machines. At the lateral pulldown (think long bar that you pull down), Sesshomaru was attempting to pull down 150 pounds, which had no prevail. No matter how well Seshhoamru could wield a sword, pulling 150 pounds was an impossible feat for a beginner, especially one who entered the world of Family guy, where fat people rule. So Sesshomaru left the gym half dead and starving, for he hadn't eaten anything that day. This was the start of a bleak period in Sesshomaru's 900-year-old life.

That day at the doctor's office… 

"Er, Sesshomaru, you only exercised for an hour, you couldn't have possibly lost a ton of weight," the doctor said as the demon leaned on the wall in a dramatic state.

"But, I worked my hardest, why can't I have a body I want!" Sesshomaru cried in agony at the unfairness of it all!

"Sesshomaru, you don't need to be a twig-thin girl and you certainly don't need to choke down a dozen diet pills to achieve the body of those super models. Who cares if you're big boned?" the doctor said.

Sesshomaru walked out of the room with a look of self-hatred on his face as he left the doctors office. The nurse entered the room and gasped, as the doctor was currently hanging from a light fixture, blood coming out of his chest at a fast rate.

Meanwhile at the Griffen Household… 

Sesshomaru held the diet pills in his right hand and a funnel in the other hand. He gulped, like a widow about to commit suicide, yet is considering all the other people who might need her, or considering the pain of the knife. (Creepy analogy, huh?)

He stood there, whimpering in front of the mirror. Sesshomaru took about 8 pills and placed them in his palm. He swallowed once more and raised his hand to his mouth. At that moment, Brian entered the bathroom with a PlayanimeBoy.

"What are you doing?" asked Brian, indifferent to whatever response came from the silver-haired demon. Sesshomaru broke down on the bathroom floor.

"I need to take diet pills because I'm fat!" he shouted.

"Well, you're not fat, but whatever you say," Brian said, lowering the toilet seat.

"You wont tell my parents?" he sniffled in reply.

"No, wait, your parents are dead, but I won't tell anyone," Brian replied.

"Oh, you're the bestest uncle ever!" shouted Sesshomaru as he hugged the dog. The demon left the room, bottle of pills and the funnel in his hands.

"I notice a disturbance in our demon's behavior," Brian said, before getting to "work".

-

**The next morning…**

Sesshomaru woke with a start. He stood up and went to his mirror. Why, he was bone thin! Remarkably shorter, but thinner. He ran down the stairs and entered the kitchen, where everyone was eating breakfast.

"Look everyone, I'm thin!" Sesshomaru shouted to the rest of the group. They all looked up and gasped.

"Sesshomaru, you're a midgit!" Chris shouted.

"But I'm thin! Not like you fatsos!" he shouted, casting a perfect and vain smile to the invisible camera that seemed to be following Sesshomaru, if only in his mind.

"Uh… whatever?" Inuyasha said.

"I'm off to a photo shoot, then I'm going to go to this new restaurant and buying a salad. It sure is expensive, but I'm worth it!" he said, before leaving.

-

The day had been a great day for Sesshomaru, as he walked down to the boutique as spent money he had stolen from Peter's wallet. Steal, it was such a harsh word, but Sesshomaru was worth it. He came out with a long, black overcoat and long black boots on his short legs.

"You look fabulous!" a voice said. Sesshomaru whirled around and saw Ayame from Fruits Basket!

"Thanks!" _It sure is great being fabulous!_ He thought.

-

Next, Sesshomaru went to the restaurant La Chez Forrnei La Chezzie-Chez. He went up to the man at the booth thing and asked for a table for four, just in case someone came to eat with him, but who wouldn't, want to, he was so fabulous. But then, the man had the _nerve _to say "Right over here, _ma'am_!"

"I am a man!" Sesshomaru shouted.

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry," the waiter apologized.

"Well, I demand a free meal!" Sesshomaru commanded, pointing his finger of justice at the teenage red head.

"Uh, I don't know if I can do that!"

"Do you dare to refuse the fabulous Sesshomaru!"

"Uh- Julius Cesar talked in third person and he was amazingly conceited!" the teen said.

"Move it!" the man behind him said, agitation ringing in his voice.

"Fine! I don't need you! I don't need any of you! The Lord Sesshomaru does not need to eat in this miserable, dank, dingy place! I am leaving! But one day you will bow to me! Me, Lord Sesshomaru!" After the megalomaniac left the restaurant, a man shouted "Good Riddance!"

-

The next day Sesshomaru was the same; he looked down on others as though they were dirt. He treated everyone like garbage. The woman loved it. He was covered in the finest young woman around. Sesshomaru even found an assistant, a secretary look-a-like.

"Sir, I got you a lunch!" she said.

"I'm sorry, I only eat lunch prepared by _beautiful_ woman," he said.

"I'll go get your lunch!" every woman (excluding the previous one) said as they ran to buy the demon something to eat.

"Sesshomaru?" a voice asked.

"You dare call me by my first name! I shall only be addressed as _Lord _Sesshomaru, Sir, or Mr. Fabulous!" the demon retorted, not bothering to look at the speaker.

"Sesshomaru, it's me, Brian," the voice said.

"Oh, Brian, how can I ever thank you for not telling anyone about the pills! I feel so… secure! And my secret is still safe, right?" Sesshomaru asked, not expecting an answer other than yes.

"Yes. But everyone guessed, they all realized it," Brian said.

"Oh, really now, no one can truly understand me!" Sesshomaru stated.

"Okay, but… Holy Cripe! What is wrong with your head… and your eyes!" Brian said, as the demon whirled around. It was true; Sesshomaru's head had grown twice its normal size. His neck was virtually gone and his eyes-! His eyes were half his face! There was no doubt about it: Sesshomaru had been Chibi-fide!

"You've… You've gone chibi!" Brian stuttered, taking a few staggered steps back.

"Yes. Yes I have, and once you go chibi, there's no turnin' back," Sesshomaru said. Brian gave his demon acquaintance an odd stare.

"Well, I'm off to my acting job!" Sesshomaru said, swirling around and leaving the store.

-

"That was a great screening, be sure to watch yourselves on TV next week!" Mason said, as he stood in front of the group of actors and actresses. Sesshoamru stood up and left, with a pompous look on his abnormally large head. All the actors were spreading awful rumors about the 900-year-old demon. However, Sesshomaru was too self absorbed to listen to what anyone else had to say.

"It was so nice working with you. Even if your just a _minor_ character," Sesshomaru said to one of them.

"Whatever, but you're _surely _going to get onto the red carpet very soon," the man replied sarcastically.

"Yes, I'll be sure to mention this _small job _in my speech, three words tops, maybe."

"Well, be sure to watch yourself on TV," the man said with a snicker. He knew something. But Sesshomaru was too self-obsessed to care. The demon held out a keychain of his chibi self and smiled. It was good to chibi.

-

The Day of the Commercial… 

Sesshomaru sat on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in his lap. His head was so large at this point, that the rest of the house members sat on the floor or in chairs.

"This is so cool, I can't believe you're gonna be on TV!" Meg squealed.

"Shh, it's coming on!" Sesshomaru hushed.

_Sesshomaru is seen in a straight jacket and running away in a busy city. In his mouth is a chocolate bar with a wrapper that says 'Crazy Choco Bar'. _

"_Do you like the taste of Crazy Choco Bars? Of course you do! You know, I'm absolutely CRAZY for Crazy Choco Bars! CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY! MUHAHAHAHA!" he shouted. All of a sudden, two of the very hot actors come up and give the demented demon a large shot in the but. He falls asleep and is carried off by the two 'insane asylum' workers and into the Happy Hotel/Funny Farm truck. An announcer says "Insanely Good!" The image of an insane Sesshomaru holding a thumbs up sign is in the background. _

For a moment, the whole family was in shock. Sesshomaru was the first to speak. "That was the blooper commercial. They said it was just for fun. I look like a fool."

"Uh, it's not that bad," Meg said, attempting to cheer the demon up, no matter how futile the effort was.

"Everyone leave the room," the silver-haired Sesshomaru said calmly.

"Why?" Kagome asked.

"I'm going to let the wrath of god fall upon the next object my eyeslock on to," Sesshomaru said darkly, beginning to twitch. Everyone ran out of the room and into the kitchen. The next moment, they heard the sounds of a lamp breaking and several violent shouts.

"Remind me to never, ever make that demon stressed," Inuyasha stated.

"So you see, Sesshomaru learned something today. He earned that fame and glamour may be great while they last, but friendship is what really matters. Hey, Hey, Hey!" Fat Albert's Bill Cosby says, spinning a basketball on his finger. Sesshomaru enters.

"No. I learned nothing." He said, before turning over the lemonade stand that the comedian had used for a table. Today was not Sesshomaru's day, but then again, it never is.

-

Okay if this really stinks, I'm sorry. But you readers are really going to kill me for this. But I'm going to have to write the Easter IMFG very late. I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait for Inuyasha and the bunny suit.

Bye, happy Easter or Passover, or whatever you celebrate! Just have fun while I write my Social Studies essay!


	10. Bunnies all around!

Inuyasha Meets Family Guy: part ten

AN; I know, I know, I'm a lazy bum for not getting this out to you sooner, but I've been busy! This is really late, it is almost May when I'm writing this, but please, the IMFG Easter special is here!

-

"What in the name of fanfiction is Easter?"

"In one of my text books it states that it was the day the Christian savior rose from the dead."

"No Kagome, it's the day when the Easter bunny gives you presents

Yes, it was Easter time in the Griffen household, which the cast of Inuyasha was currently sharing with the family. When the subject of the famous holiday came up, naturally the half-dog demon Inuyasha would be the first to ask what it was, with an air of annoyance. The debate had broken out over what Easter was. An intellegent debate would have sounded like this:

"Well, Easter is now a purely commercial holiday. Everywhere you go you see promotions of candy, toys, and bunnies. So now it has broken away from religious meaning and become of a day of sweets and cute things," one side would state.

"However far our culture strives from religion, it still is a religion based holiday," the other side would state. The polite debate would continue for a while, then it would close itself. However, this certainly wasn't a polite debate, or intelligent for that matter.

Enter Reality:

"Baka! It's religion-based!"

"Yeah, whatever, Kagome said!"

"But the bunny!"

"But nothing, we're right, you're wrong!"

"BUNNY!"

"Shut up!"

"Mosh Pit!"

"Oh my God they killed Kenny!"

"Who's Kenny?"

"You bas-wait I don't know who Kenny is either."

Outside the scuffle Brian sat, taking a drag of his cigarette and enjoying the scene, Everyone in the house, even people who had no idea what was going on, were in the mosh pit, unknowing of the problems that must be faced three days before Easter Sunday.

-

Inuyasha sat alone in a tree near the Griffen household. He pondered a certain situation back at Christmas time. It involved the ever-evil authoress, the thought of a bunny suit, and this time of the year. He honestly thought that the holiday Liz had mentioned never existed, it was just some ploy to get him to be Santa Claus. Now he wasn't so sure. What did she mean by bunny suit? Who was going to make him wear it? More importantly, was color was it going to be?  
_Hang on, if I just avoid anything bunny-related for this week…yeah, this will be easy!_

THE NEXT DAY

The family (?) went to Wall-Mart to buy Easter-related products. To Inuyasha's horror, bunnies surrounded him. Every isle featured some kind of bunny. The kid's toy aisle had a gigantic stuffed bunny. Naturally, Inuyasha pulled out his Tetsaiga and brought his brand of odd justice onto the poor fluffy thing. Out of a small voice box that poked out of the piles of fur came a robotic voice that said "I… love… you…" before it's fluffy head flopped over. Children attacked the half demon that destroyed their happy friend.

LATER THAT NIGHT:

Kagome sat on the sofa, where she was sleeping that night, and began to write in her diary, which she had kept since she came to the Griffen's world. In it, she kept her memoirs of her adventures in this strange new land. She had entries for Christmas, the Camping trip, and Sesshomaru's major break down. Now she write her thoughts on Easter, and the strange behavior Inuyasha had been displaying today.

_Today, Inuyasha was being totally weird. Today at Wall-Mart WALLMART RULES ALL, he killed an innocent stuffed bunny. He also scared away two children who were singing 'Little bunny fu fu'. _

_**Flash Back:**_

**_"Little bunny fu fu hoppin' through the forest, scoopin' up the field mice and boppin' on the head!" the children laughed, oh how they laugh and play! Then Inuyasha shouted like a madman and bit at their fingers. Naturally the children ran away. Kagome shouted 'SIT BOY' with a nearby megaphone. _ **

_Anyway, I think he's worried about Easter. I know that Christmas was great for him, but I don't know if he's just afraid of what he doesn't understand. Oh well. I guess I'll never know._

-

"Oh my god, I love Easter!"

Miroku currently sat on his sleeping back. He was alone in Stewie's room while the dictator-child currently was in the bathroom. The lecherous monk had a playanimeboy propped up on his pillow and he was staring at a glossy page of a woman in bunny ears, a bathing suit, fishnets, and a bunny tail.

"Hooray! My desires are being fulfilled in this holiday! This is even better than the Santa's helpers at Christmas time!"

"QUIET, I'M GETTING AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE THROGH MY RUBBER DUCKY! THE PENTAGON IS GOING TO EXPLODE!"

"Yes, Stewie."

-

"Lord Sesshomaru?" asked Jaken.

"Hmm?" replied our favorite silver-haired full-demon.

"What exactly are you doing?"

"What? Oh this, I thought I'd look for information on that _demonic_ bunny!" the demon answered.

"Uh, may I ask why?"

"Jaken, Jaken, you naïve fool, if the bunny has the power to sneak into a home and leave presents, couldn't it be possible to corrupt this bunny and make him destroy things!" then he laughed, loudly and awkwardly.

"Er… yes Lord Sesshomaru."

"You've got text and code that equal mail!" the computer said in an annoying voice.

"I hope it's not spam- oh my devils and demons! It's from the evil bunny!"

"Really?" Jaken asked.

"Yes, duh Jaken, I just said that!"

"What's it about, my lord?"

"It wants my personal bank account information and I'll get unlimited action to bunny- I can't read this word, there's a smudge on the screen- poen?" Sesshomaru said.

"Uh, what are you going to do?" Jaken asked.

"Do I have a choice, this poen thing sounds intriguing," Sesshomaru answered. So began an odd few days for the two demons.

-

Chris and Meg sat on the couch, watching their father pull lint out of his bellybutton and pass gas every few minutes.

"Couldn't we be doing something better with out lives?" asked Meg.

"I like crayons," Chris answered.

"Uh…" Meg sighed. "Why are we so unimportant in this fanfiction?"

"Because we're the unimportant ones, we're just here to take up space and be people's slaves," Chris answered.

"What, slaves?" Meg asked.

"You mean, you're not anyone's slave? I'm Jaken's slave, I think it makes him feel powerful," Chris answered.

"I want to be Inuyasha's slave," Meg said.

"Go for it sis!" Chris said.

"Oh my god, I'm gonna go put on my slave stuff!"

"You do that," Chris said. After his sister ran up the stairs, he took out a Twinkie and smirked.

"What a dolt," he said, as he laughed maniacally.

-

Miroku sat on his futon as he laughed with lecherous glee. All of a sudden, he heard a familiar tap at the window. It was his good friend Quagmire! The two danced and sang and spoke words of merriment and joy!

"No we didn't we talked about glossy pictures that make out nether regions quiver!" Miroku said.

"Who are you talking to?" Quagmire asked.

"I don't know."

"Okay then, do you want to go to my (gulp) friends house again?"\

"The dude with the glossy Sango Mugs that I suck my drinks from every day?" Miroku asked.

"Yes," Quagmire sighed.

"Why are you so hesitant to go over there?" Miroku asked.

"Because he's such a… freak! And a nerd, and a dork," Quagmire said.

"So? He has glossy pictures of nude woman!" Miroku said.

"You're right, let's go!"

The two lecherous men got in the car, Miroku picked up a playanimeboy and Quagmire rolled one up.

"Wizards again?" Miroku asked, not bothering to turn around.

"Yep," said Quagmire, as he climbed into the backseat and the sounds of screaming and whacking upside the head with a magazine filled with paper goodness. Harry and Hermione jumped out and ran off into the night.

"Now we can go."

-

"Lois, can I borrow your credit card?" Sesshomaru asked, slightly disgusted with himself.

"Uh, why?" the woman asked, putting the book that she was reading down on the arm of the chair she was sitting in.

"I want to see some poen on the Internet."

"Uh, no?" Lois tried, not having any idea what the dog demon was talking about. Sesshomaru sighed and pulled his T-shirt down to his waist. He sighed and began to halfheartedly sing "I'm to sexy for my shirt, I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy yeah…"

Five minutes later, he obtained the credit card and information the poen website asked for.

"Okay credit card number… social security number… and we're in!" Sesshomaru said.

"You've just been HACKED! Muhahaha! Enjoy your bunnies! HAHAHAGA!" the computer spoke.

"Nothing unusual, right Jaken," Sesshomaru said, clicking on the link to the 'poen'. "Okay, I'm in. W-What the heck?"

"What is it, my lord?" Jaken asked, as he came up to the computer.

"Oh my god, it's that stuff Miroku reads, but it doesn't make me any more excitable below the belt," Sesshomaru said. On the page were pictures of the Easter Bunny, only he was wearing a bikini and… winking.

"I'd better get out of here," Sesshomaru said.

"Yes, my lord," Jaken answered. It was a strange encounter…

-

"Inuyasha…"

"Hmmm?"

"I am your servant!"

"What!"

"Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it master!"

"Get off my leg!"

It was certainly odd, Meg was in a slaves' garb and hugging tightly to the half demon's leg.

"I don't want a slave!"

"Yes you do, my master, I'll let you do whatever you want to me and I won't scream!" Meg answered.

"I don't know what you want to do, but it sounds like something Miroku would like!" Sesshomaru said.

"Master Inuyasha!" Meg shouted as she tackled the poor Inuyasha to the ground. Then, his brain hatched a child! (There has to be a better way of putting that T-T.)

"Oh, okay, you want to serve me right?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yes!" Meg replied.

"Then go into that closet and I'll come and get you in a minute!" Inuyasha said in a wink. The excitable girl obeyed his order and ran into the closet. The half demon shut the door and locked it. Then he sat on the bed like nothing had happened. Life is good.

-

Quagmire and Miroku pulled up the house with the Yoda lawn gnomes and knocked on the door.

"Quagmire, Miroku, may the force be with you!" the geeky man named Bob said.

"Hi, you have some of the bunny you-know-what right?" Quagmire asked.

"I sure do!" Bob said as he motioned for them to come inside his house/establishment.

It was more geekifide then ever before! There was Star Wars, Star Trek, Starsky and Hutch! Even Madarame from the Genshiken was there!

"Are we going to the closet again?" Miroku asked.

"Yeah, I just got some new things from Eminem, he cleaned out his closet and gave me the stuff in it! He had tones of you-know-what!" Bob said.

"What's that?" asked Miroku, pointing to a corpse-looking object.

"Uh, I don't know," Bob answered.

-

After a long walk through the closet and several chats with rap star R-Kelly (get it, he's in the closet, tee hee!), they made it to the bunny section. Only it wasn't what Miroku or Quagmire expected; it was all pictures of bunnies on sexy positions and lingerie.

"Where are the woman!" asked Miroku, shaking the geeky man by the Star Trek shirt.

"Oh, this is all the rage now!" he answered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I need my woman, I need them to live!" Miroku shouted.

"Uh… I'll buy the picture with the two bunnies rubbing noses together."

"QUAGMIRE, what are you doing?" asked Miroku.

"What can I say, I like what I like, and that's that!" Quagmire answered, leaving the monk to twitch in the closet, before dragging him out by a foot.

"Thanks, and may the force be with you!" Bob said, but he two had already left.

-

THE DAY BEFORE EASTER

"Look at these Sango, isn't this firefighter suit cute, I might buy it for Inuyasha!" Kagome said in the store.

"It is cute," Sango answered. "What's that over there?" Sango had pointed to a large stand with the words "INUYASHA'S COSTUME IS HERE?"

"I think Inuyasha's costume is over there," Sango said.

"Uh… you think?" Kagome answered sarcastically.

"Should we ever bother looking, you know, 'cause of all the crazy stuff that's been happening lately involving Inuyasha's name plastered in big letters?" Sango said.

Flashback:

The family was watching TV, when suddenly Inuyasha's name appeared in big letters. All of a sudden, Inuyasha entered a room. Laughter occurred from the audience as the half demon jumped. He looked around, he was in a small room… like the rooms shown in (buh buh buh!) sitcoms.

"No, I'm in a sitcom! The horror of the lukewarm comedy and audience members who laugh awkwardly! I must fight!" Inuyasha cried, pulling out his Tetsaiga and started whipping the room apart. When actor Ray Ramano entered the room, he sliced the man into bits.

"Everyone doesn't love you Raymond, you pompous jerk!" Inuyasha shouted.

Flashback end.

"No, I don't see any reason not to," Kagome said. Kagome picked up a bag that aid 'Suit for Inuyasha'.

"I wonder what it is," Sango said. The two looked in the bag and gasped.

-

"I will kill all bunnies in my sight! I will kill all bunnies in my sight," Inuyasha said. The demon stood in Stewie's room, ray gun in hand. He was shooting at several stuffed bunnies that sat in various places on the wall, shelves, floor, and window.

Each time he hit one of the stuffed creatures of delight, stuffing would fly out, causing a pleasant sight to the half-demon.

"Mu hahahaah! Just try to get me now, demon plush-thingies!" Inuyasha shouted.

"Inuyasha, do you want some Cheesy-Poofs?" Lois asked.

"Yeah I want Cheesy-Poofs!" the half demon answered.

-

It was midnight when Kagome and Sango sneaked into Inuyasha's room.

"Why am I here again Kagome?" Sango asked.

"Because, we have to get Inuyasha into the bunny costume before morning, or he'll never get into it!" Kagome answered.

"No, but why am _I_ here, I really don't give fudge if Inuyasha gets into a bunny suit or not," Sango said frankly.

"You know, neither do I, but I just have a strange urge that has nothing to do with the fact that a person in controlling our thoughts and actions."

"That thought scares the –bleep- out of me!" sdango said.

"Shhh, I don't know how long the chloroform will keep Inuyasha past out!" Kagome said. The two began their bunny-suiting-thing-work.

-

EASTER TIME!

"Good morning everyone!" Lois said as the group members came down one by one. However, Inuyasha was the last to come downstairs. It wasn't that the chloroform was still in effect, oh no that had worn off… hours ago. Inuyasha had actually been the first one up in the house. He was currently staring in the mirror with a look of terror. Why, he looked just like a… bunny! How had this happened? Was it because he tried to kill all bunnies on the planet? Was Buddha punishing him for taking out his fears onto bunnies of all shapes, sizes, and lifestyles? That must be it! No… what was he going to do now? If he walked outside ever again, the fangirls would come, he didn't have a good enough disguise. A fluffy, purple bunny suit that showed his face was not going to cut it! He needed his precious face to be sheilded from the blinding light of a thousand fangirl smiles.

Flashback…

Inuyasha stepped outside. He was sheltered in a moose costume that only showed his eyes. No fangirls, that was good. Inuyasha breathed a sigh of relief. However, he felt a small metal thing hit him in the head.

"I lurveeeeeee you Mr. Moosie!" the small robot said. Inuyasha didn't know it, but that robot was not just any robot. It was a robot in a dog suit. Not just any robot in a dog suit, a robot in a _green_ dog suit. Not just any robot in a green dog suit, it was GIR!

"What are you?" Inuyasha asked GIR, who was currently glomping his head to death.

"I'm advanced! I want a cookie!" the odd thing answered.

"GIR, what are you doing?" came a sound from above the two.

"Master! I found a moose!" GIR said to Zim, his master.

"Good, now we can run some _horrible tests _on it!" said Zim.

"Yay, I like horrible tests!" GIR said as they began to levitate up to Zim's Irken ship.

End Flashback.

"Okay… that one didn't work either, but now I know what I must do… I must atone for my sins as a mass murderer of bunny rabbits. I must… jump off the roof! Goodbye sweet world! Oh, hang on, I have to get there first… wait! After Happy Days cuts to commercial!" Inuyasha said as he sat down and ate a bag of Happy Chips.

Happy Chips! They're so happy, you'd swear there on some kind of illegal substance! Really, you'd really think that. You just have to try one. No, the chips themselves aren't an illegal substance! Just try one, or we'll shoot you in the head, that's a good little boy/girl.

-

"Jeez, where is Inuyasha, we can't start the egg hunt until he gets here!" Kagome said, slightly agitation showed in her voice.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon," Miroku said.

A loud thump came from above them.

"It came from the roof," Peter said. The people all ran outside and looked up into the bright sun to see a bunnysuited Inuyasha on the roof.

"Inuyasha! What are you doing up there?" Kagome shouted.

"I must repent! I have killed too many stuffed bunnies… I must die!" Inuyasha shouted.

"No, don't do it!" Lois shouted.

"Dear Buddha, I must leave this world… my sins have come too far, I am a burden on everyone!" Fruits Basket's Ritsu said.

"Get away buddy, I'm jumping off of this one, find your own!" Inuyasha said.

"I'm sorry," Ritsu said as he jumped off and landed on his feet before running away.

"Okay… now I'll jump!" Inuyasha said.

"No wait, Inuyasha, I'm sorry! This is all Sango's and my fault! We put you in the costume; there is a zipper on the back! Please don't jump!" Kagome said, ignoring the dirty look that Sango was giving her. The look that spelled out 'What? Why was my name first?'

"No, don't try to change my mind, I must die! I have committed one too many sins and I must pay!" Inuyasha said.

"Now, really, there's a zipper down the back. This is ridiculous! C'mon, if he's gonna jump, we'll just have to let him, I want to watch that sicko Barney get kicked below the belt by some middle aged fat chick!" Stewie said, leaving the rest of the people outside.

"Okay, I'm getting a little annoyed, your not acting the way you normally are and your making me oh so angry so do you know what I'm going to do Inuyasha-san?" Kagome asked sweetly.

"N…No! Not that!" Inuyasha said, forgetting that he was on the roof attempting to jump!

"SIT BOY! SIT, SIT, SIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!" Kagome shouted. The poor half demon fell off the roof.

"ouch… ouch…" he said. However, he stood back up like nothing happened.

"Wait, that roof was never high enough for me to jump off of in the first place, was it?" Inuyasha said, noticing that he had jumped off higher things before. Kagome went and unzipped his bunny suit.

"W-What… there was a zipper?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yes, that's what we said ten times, you're starting to bug me, SIT BOY!" Kagome said as Inuyasha plummeted to the ground.

-

The rest of the day went well, they all had an egg hunt, made a delicious dinner, and went to bed feeling satisfied with themselves. Yeah… that's Lois wished happened. The egg hunt was a complete disaster because Stewie placed a bomb in an egg. Also, Miroku got slapped hard when Sango found an egg filled with wonderful bunny nudity. Then, it all went downhill when the fangirls found them. Inuyasha sat in the corner and cried for an hour. Then dinner was just a couple slices of leftover pieces because the hackers on the internet got hungry and found out their address and stole some food while the egg hunt fiasco was going on. Then… they all stayed up and watched South Park, like all good children do after brushing their teeth and saying their evening prayers, or just like the rednecks do! Yay for rednecks! Before bed, they all said goodnight, but then Inuyasha remembered a major problem he had forgotten about.

Meg sat in Inuyasha's closet shouting and begging for her release. Inuyasha would deal with it in the morning. Or maybe he'd just never get to it. Either way, it was time to fall asleep, listening to the sounds of Meg's shouting. It was a great night.

-

Okay, that took me over a month to crank out, but its finally done! 14 pages, done! I've had projects up to my neck. School ends in a few days and I'm still being packed with homework. I have 1 final presentation. I'm so glad I can relax. You got your Inuyasha in a bunny suit… but sorry it all stunk like the fiery odor of 1,000 sweaty people.


	11. Technological Idiocy

Inuyasha meets Family Guy 11

AN: Important news: I, emotionalanime, am now changing my account name to CoWzInGrAsS. Please, Please, Please don't try to look for emotionalanime on searches! So anyway, I got an MP3 player the other day (I'm almost entirely inept at these kinds of things) and why is it that every piece of technology I get is a disappointment? I have probably had 13 CD players, 3 MP3 players, and been through 15 pairs of headphones. I have absolutely no luck. It is probably no help that I but all this stuff at Wal-Mart, but something has to work once in a while, doesn't it?

Enough whining from me, this chapter is all about video games, the Internet, and all that other technological stuff we know and love (or HATE).

-

It was a beautiful Saturday morning and the sun rose bright and gorgeous, the sky was blue and cast a serenade of clouds into the atmosphere (or some upbeat cripe like that…). But of course, the new PS2 game came out that morning and Chris, Inuyasha, Brian, and Peter had just camped outside the toy store, along with fifty or so other nerds, gamers, and Melee game addicts. Yes, the game was called Super Gangsta' G's Melee. The game consisted of several well-known video game characters in various video game settings. So who were the game characters? Sephiroth, Cloud, and Yuffie from Final Fantasy VII, Link, and Young Link from Legend of Zelda, Eirika, Ephraim, and Seth from Fire Emblem: the Sacred Stones, and the Gangsta bros. Themselves: Maurice and Larry plus many bonus characters.

"Okay, where at the front of the line now! All right!" Chris said, laughter ringing in his boyish voice.

"Um… I reserved the game under the name P. WeeHerman," Peter said to the man handing out the reserved copies.

"Okay, it's right here…. Mr. WeeHerman…" he said, handing the small box to Peter.

"P. WeeHerman…?" Brian asked as he brought out a lighter and a pack of smokes.

"I was drunk that night and I thought it would be funny, as a matter of fact I saw a lot of funny things that night," Peter said.

Flash Back:

Peter walked along the streets that now seemed to be paved with bricks. The night air was cold and brisk on the back of his neck, yet he was too wasted to notice. Then, he saw a horse drawn carriage on the side of the road. A man was huddled over something.

"Hey buddy! What's up?" Peter asked. The man twitched and dropped the sharp pointy scalpel he was using. Scalpel? Why did he need that? In front of him lay a woman's dead body, on the ground next to him lay a pile of organs.

"Jack The Ripper! How have you been?" Peter asked.

"Peter, man I haven't seen you since college, so uh whacha doin'?" Jack answered.

"Nothing… Whatcha doin' yerself?" Peter asked drukenly.

"Oh this… uh I'm reading manga yeah… I'm not doing some sort of freaky murder involving a woman and her innards," Jack answered, his long cloak billowed in the chilling wind. He picked up the woman's legs like a book.

"Dude, you're reading it wrong, it goes right to left…" Peter said.

"Oh," Jack said as he flipped the woman's corpse over again. "I'm reading uh… D.N. Angel."

"Oh, that series is great really awesome. Well I have to go order a video game now, so if you'll excuse me…" Peter said. As the fat man turned away into the night, Jack the Ripper slipped into the shawdows of the early morning fog.

Flash back end.

"Wow Peter, that's real special of you," Brian said.

"Yeah I know, I was so lucky that night… Hey you're being mean aren't you!" Peter shouted. "Inuyasha! Brian's being mean!"

"Don't tattle!" Inuyasha shouted.

"Okay, but can I have a Rice Crispie treat?" asked Peter.

"No fattie, No!" Inuyasha said. "Wait, why do I care?"

"Oh hey, look at the time, the others must be dying the car with the windows rolled up. I forgot that it was over 100 degress today! Isn't that funny?" Peter said.

When they got to the car, they found that everyone was sweating to death. Except for Meg who was already dead.

"Aw, it's all gross!" Peter said, picking up Meg with two fingers. He held her body as far away from his body as he could.

AT HOME

Sesshomaru, Stewie, Shippo, and Miroku were on the computer. Since Sesshie-sama was the only one who had even basic Internet skills, he held the mouse in his hand.

"What are we looking for Sesshomaru?" asked Shippo, leaning onto the desk.

"Stewie asked me to look up something on the weakness of the Pentagon, must be some project for that blasted preschool he goes to."

Shippo and Miroku looked at Sesshomaru and decided to not say anything at all, for Stewie had given them the evil eye and moved his hand across his throat in a threatening nature.

"Alright… should I type in weaknesses of the Pentagon?" asked Sesshomaru.

"That sounds fine, but you might want to add 'evil plot' next to it," Stewie answered, in a casual tone of voice.

Miroku and Shippo exchanged suspicious looks.

"Okay, this sight looks good… destroying the Pentagon, White house, or other important government building for prepubescent terrorists…" Sesshomaru said, clearly not thinking about what he was saying.

"Oh, we can't get on this sight, we're not members of the Little Boys and Girls with Guns Society." Sesshomaru said, after he heard the loud beeping sound coming from the compute after he clicked the link.

"Blast! Very well, I shall find a way to harness this clubs information… by ordering their free information packet. Yes… I say… No, I don't want free information from their sponsors… yes, I'll wait 3-8 weeks for delivery… $1 shipping and handling… I say… all right I'm done now. Go about your business, and when the world is mine, I shall kill you will a beautiful bouquet of poisonous gas-emitting flowers, so you can die with a beautiful present wrapped in your cold, dead hands," Stewie said as he jumped down from Sesshomaru's lap.

"Alright then," Sesshomaru said as he continued to click around on the screen. Miroku and Shippo gave each other an evil glance.

-

"Hey Kagome, this weird dude keeps trying to IM me… he's starting to creep me out… should I block him?" Sango asked Kagome. She was just starting to use the Internet and was little more than inept at using the controls.

"What's he doing?" Kagome asked as she crossed the room and sat on the bed that Sango was currently propped up against.

"I said hi to him and he just started talking in some gibberish I have never read before! U4tejinhij4whhtiuehgtkio? What does that mean?" Sango asked.

"Oh, he's just using txt tlk, it's what people with limited character space, or limited time use instead of spelling things the way they are normally spelled. Sometimes, people just take out all vowels, other times they use abbreviations, and other times, they notice that letters actually sound like words, so they use phrases like 'RU there?' and 'Gr8'! Isn't culture fascinating?" Kagome said.

"It sure is Kagome, but what does u4tejinhij4whhtiuehgtkio mean? (by the way, this means absolutely NOTHING at all)

"I think he's trying to say Hi Miss. Sango, my name is Sean and I can do the Irish jig!" Kagome said.

"Are you sure?" Sango asked, not seeing how the string of code could possibly relate to folk dancing and leprechauns!

" Either that or he is saying 'Hi Sango, I am a 50 year old creepo depo and I live in my mother's basement and I'm coming to kill you. I … also enjoy ranch dressing…," Kagome deciphered. Sango hunched into a fetal position and cried, there was so much she had to learn about the Internet, it was all so overwhelming! She decided to block SunnyDayzCalifornia (if this is anyone's name, I'm sorry, I just thought it up!), even the name seemed dark and menacing. No! It had txt tlk of some form! There was a 'z' where there should have been an 's'! How mind bendingly horrible! That was it, forget learning the secret IM techniques! Sango was now going to become a crusader… a defender of Justice against IM and chatrooms! (Duh, duh, duh!)

-

"Hey Sesshie-san, whatcha doin'?" Miroku asked for the fifth time in ten minuets. The demon, who was busy downloading songs onto his I-pod and humming to the _Fruits Basket_ theme song to himself was not too happy about being interrupted, or the fact the Shippo was eating his silvery locks of hair. This was the final straw! For too long now he pretended that they weren't worth his time, that they weren't worth his rage… but now… they accidentally deleted his favorite Kelly Clarkson track! That was IT!

"Miroku get your -bleep- carcass over here, you –bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping- perv! I am so –bleeping- angry I could just start tire ironing you! My god, don't you run from me!" Sesshomaru shouted for a good 3 hours before he stopped slapping Miroku and Shippo. The monk and the fox demon had never seen such rage over an American Idol winner before. All they wanted to do was browse the wonderful Internet, maybe buy a DVD, read some wonderful fanfiction, read Sesshomaru's blog, and maybe even get a glimpse at some tantalizing women in the nude! But now, they were in bloody pulps on the ground.

"Look man, we're sorry, we didn't mean to honest! All we wanted to do was go shopping on E-bay, read the wonderful works of fanfiction, and look at your blog, and maybe even look at some p- po-," Miroku began.

"Poems, you really want to read my poems about death, blood, and murder!" Sesshie said with glee. Miroku and Shippo gave each other looks of suspicion, they didn't believe that the demon liked poetry, even if it was about death. Oh well, maybe they'd get a good glimpse of some bikini clad women if they paid attention.

-

"Who do you want to play as, Inuyasha?" Chris asked as he, Inuyasha, Peter and Stewie looked at the screen which displayed the Super Gansta' Brothers Melee.

"I'll play as Seth, he's pretty cool looking…," Inuyasha said.

"Okay, I'll play as Sephiroth…," Stewie said.

"Let's battle!" Inuyasha said.

Ten Minuets Later

"I win! I win!" Stewie said, gloating about as he looked upon the screen where Sephiroth was being given a trophy. "I whipped your furry bottom! Oh! Go Stewie, go Stewie!"

"Oh whatever!" Inuyasha pouted.

"Here Inuyasha, I'll help you," Chris said, standing behind the half-demon.

"Whatever, just don't get in my way…" Inuyasha said. The game began.

"Inuyasha! Inuyasha! Push X! Push X! For the love of God, Inuyasha Push X!" Chris cried, 3 seconds into the game.

"Shut up, you're annoying me!" Inuyasha said, he pushed the A button.

"You lose… Sucker!" the screen said as it showed an image of Seth falling off his horse into a bloody heap on the ground.

"What? You said you would help me! Prepare to meet your maker! Iron Reaver, Soul Reaper!" Inuyasha said, slashing toward Chris. Chris did a spectacular dodge on an invisible cloud.

"Huh?" Inuyasha said in shock, no mere twinkie licker could dodge the Iron Reaver, Soul Reaper!

"Inuyasha, you do not know the ways of the controller, come hither, and we shall go forth into the black abyss of the labyrinth called Super Gangsta Bros. Melee. We will begin your training… NOW!" Chris said. Inuyasha just sighed, why did he have to be surrounded by freaks…?

-

Random chatroom:

Coolieeeeeeeee: Lke foo'shizzle my mo'foing (insert random string of text here)

SangotheCrusader675: Stop! Evil spammer! I shall smite thee with my N00bAnihilator!

Coolieeeeeeeee: Ah! The non-txt tlk-ness! It burns my n00b brains, fo'shzzle!

SangotheCrusader675: That shall teach you to n00b up the forums!

"Sango, what are you doing?" Kagome asked.

"Why, I'm saving the world!" Sango replied in her most heroic voice.

"Are you playing Adventure Quest or something?" Kagome asked.

_Is Kagome worthy of knowing my secret? Should she know that I'm the almighty righteous one? No! I must keep my identity a secret, forever anonymously known as SangotheCrusader675._

"Yes, I am playing adventure quest, yes," Sango said deviously.

"Well, alright but don't be too long, I have to check my emails."

"Alright, yes… alright."

"You okay, you seem unusually devious today," Kagome said.

"No I'm fine… yes… fine."

-

"Cuddly llamas make good friends, but cheese and pickles are my favorites instead! So goes my 21 page poem!" Sesshomaru said, concluding the end of the poetry session that Miroku and Shippo "insisted" on having.

"Sesshomaru, can we please go see some moderately attractive women in bathing suits, please?" Miroku pleaded.

"Well, if it's attractive you want, let me show you my own personal stash!" Sesshomaru said.

"Alright!" Miroku said, perking up at the thought of women in front of the camera.

"Take a look!" Sesshomaru said as he opened a file called "attractive".

"What the Barbera Streisand is this?" Miroku exclaimed.

In front of him lay not women, but dogs, wolfs, and foxes.

"Isn't it fantabulous!" Sesshie said.

"Yes it is Sesshomaru! It's so hot!" Shippo said.

"What is wrong with you people, oh my god I'm gonna go down to the convenience store and buy a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition!" Miroku stormed out of the room.

-

"Inuyasha, your training is complete, you have learned the way of the controller, you can now beat the hard challenge setting on every character… with your eyes closed! I believe you are ready to face Stewie," Chris said as he floated in front of Inuyasha, who's shirt was torn.

Several Suspense-Building Minutes Later:

Inuyasha was dressed in his old anime clothes. He looked nice in red; red was the color of blood, the blood that was spilled in 3-D graphics in the games whenever he killed someone. He knew what he had to do.

"Are you ready to lose Inuyasha," Stewie said.

"I will destroy you, my opponent," Inuyasha answered like a karate master who had just come back from an extensive training session.

Game Start:

"I will of course choose Sephiroth," Stewie said.

"I shall choose Sephiroth as well," Inuyasha said.

"What! That's not fair!"

"Yes it is."

Sephiroth #1 (Stewie) fought and sliced, yet Sephiroth #2 (Inuyasha) was just too strong! The battle ended when Inuyasha gave a finishing blow on the resisting Sephiroth #1.

"I won, but it was a great game, my opponent," Inuyasha said honorably.

"No! I'm never going to play this game again! It's stupid! No, stupid Sephiroth!" Stewie cried as he ran up the stairs in a huff, but not before showing a rude gesture to the half-demon, who was quietly celebrating inside himself. He had won, his objective had been reached.

"Hey, Stewie's off, now I want to play against you Inuyasha," Peter said as he entered the room.

"Alright," Inuyasha said.

"Hmm, who should I pick, oh hey look, a new character! 'Hannaford Shopping Bag, I pick him," Peter said.

"What! A Hannaford Shopping Bag, what a lame idea for a character," Inuyasha said, forgetting all about his nobility.

"But these things are freakin' unbreakable!" Peter said.

GAME START:

Hannoford Shopping Bag had twice the Hit Points of Sephiroth, also it had amazing strength with special attacks like 'Swooping Suffocation' and "Hannoford Hippo Logo Toss'. It was clear who dominated the game.

"Oh! I won! In your face, Inuyasha!" Peter chanted.

"No, how could I have lost! Oh, this is such a stupid game!" Inuyasha pouted.

Thus ended Inuyasha's game-playing expireince.

-

"What! They deleted my account for spamming!" Sango yelled at the laptop. She had been all ready for another day of busting txt tlkrs and spammers, but now she was being called one. "SangotheCrusader675 is a hero, I should be getting medals for my work! Spam! Me? Never! This is soooooooo unfair!" Sango shouted. She was even wearing spandex, yes, spandex.

_I wonder who reported me…_ Sango thought, before deciding to get a smoothie… yes a smoothie… (_Liz, knock it off with the devious vocals!)_.

Across the hall was Kagome, she was typing a report when all of a sudden, she got an email. It read: _Thanks so much 456kgm for reporting that big bad hacker, SangotheCrusader675! We'll never have to deal with her again, Spammers and N00bs can roam free again! Yrs trlly, spmmrs chat rooms. _

"Muhahahhaha! No one can stop my reign of spamming!" Kagome laughed maniacally. She was about to start another rant when she heard Sango's voice call from downstairs.

"Kagome, want a smoothie?" she asked.

"Sure, that sounds great!" Kagome answered. "A smoothie… yes… a smoothie. Muhahahaha!" she laughed once more.

"What, did you say something?" Sango asked.

"No!" Kagome answered. Then she added in a whisper "you foolish mortal!"

"Did you say something?"

-

Fugerdudge that was a piece of cow manure! You think I that I would write something halfway decent after making you people wait this long! Oh well, can't be helped. Well, thanks for reading!


End file.
